Men Are Emotional, Too, If You Know What To Look For

Men Are Emotional, Too, If You Know What To Look For iStock

On the surface, guys can sometimes come off as completely unfeeling. They don’t express themselves the same way women do, so we tend to write them off as being cold and aloof, but that’s not actually the case. Just because they show their feelings in a different way than we do doesn’t mean that men aren’t emotional. You just have to know what to look for.

  1. He relaxes into your touch. Put your hand on his shoulder or wrap your arms around him. How does he react? If he relaxes into it, this means he’s either happy and content or he’s feeling a bit stressed and your touch is soothing him. If it’s the latter, you’ll notice a tense feeling before he fully relaxes.
  2. He actually wants to cuddle. If you’re ever in doubt about how happy you make your man, the answer is clear when he wants to cuddle. Most men hate cuddling, so if he’s into it, you know it’s real. This is his way of expressing how happy and relaxed you make him. It’s also a very subtle way to show you he loves and trusts you.
  3. He tells you about his day. Men are notorious for not sharing details about their day. They just don’t think you’ll find it interesting. The more he talks to you about the daily details, the more excited or stressed he is. It’s pretty easy to tell which one by his tone. No, he probably won’t say that he’s freaking out about work, but the fact that he’s sharing any of those stressful details is a sign he wants your support.
  4. He gets quieter than usual. I see women getting pissed at their boyfriends all the time because he suddenly gets quieter than he usually is. This isn’t a bad thing. It’s a clue to how he feels. When a man is upset, stressed or even really angry, he tends to get quiet. It’s his way of making sure he doesn’t say the wrong thing and it gives him time to process whatever’s going on. Be supportive and let him know you’re there if he needs you. Trust me, don’t push him. He’ll talk when he’s ready.
  5. He does something nice for you. Okay, so I know this could just mean he did something wrong and he’s trying to get himself out of trouble. It could also mean he’s feeling extra lovey-dovey or he’s worried about losing you. Yes, guys worry about that too. He might have just heard about his best friend getting dumped and wants to show you how much he loves you so the same thing doesn’t happen to him.
  6. He shares his hobby with you. When a guy wants to share his hobby with you, it means he’s letting himself be vulnerable. Go ahead, see what it is that he likes. You’ll get to see your man turn into a kid in a candy store. He’ll also talk more and show you a completely different side of himself.
  7. He ignores the world. Is he suddenly oblivious to everything? Usually, this happens gradually. It’s not that he’s ignoring you or anyone else on purpose. This is just his way of telling the world that he’s extremely stressed or upset. It’s kind of his mind’s way of dealing with whatever’s going on. As you know, men aren’t supposed to talk about things, so after internalizing so much, he starts to sort of zone out.
  8. He tells you when there’s something on his mind. If he’s actually telling you what’s going on, this means he trusts you. This is huge! Just don’t get upset if he doesn’t go into novel-length detail. He’s letting you know he’s worried. He’s giving you the facts and wants your input. Guys aren’t known for oversharing, so just go with it and be glad he’s letting you know something’s wrong.
  9. He wants to spend time aloneSometimes when your man is extremely tired or upset, he just wants to be alone. This is usually a good sign that he’s having a hard time keeping his emotions in check. Wanting to be alone is a way for him to feel safe. It’s nothing against you. Let him have his alone time, but also let him know you’re there if he needs anything.
  10. He gets playful. Playful means he’s feeling good about life or he’s horny. I think it’s pretty easy to tell which is which. Of course, when he’s ultra-happy, he’s probably going to be horny too.
  11. He tries out things you like. When he starts trying things that you know he’s not into, he’s trying to show you he cares about you. If you haven’t slept together and he’s been begging for sex, this is also his way of trying to convince you to put out.
  12. His tone changes. A man’s voice is a dead giveaway to his emotions. Pay close attention. A deep, careful tone usually equals anger. A deep tone that cracks a little or seems hesitant means he’s upset (listen for this one during tearjerker chick flicks). The faster he talks, the more excited he is. I think you get the idea. Every guy’s a little different, so pay attention and learn what tonal changes mean.
  13. He wears different colors. Men are just like women with this one. I just don’t think they quite realize they’re doing it though. You know how you wear red when you’re feeling anxious to boost your confidence? He does the same. Switching to darker colors often means he’s feeling sad or stressed. Of course, don’t overanalyze his color choices. This isn’t the most effective sign, but it’s useful when combined with others.
  14. He walks differently. Ever noticed how a guy has a stiffer walk when he’s angry or a slower gait when he’s uncertain? He stands straighter when he’s confident and struts when he’s in the mood. It’s a fun sign, but a good indicator of how he feels.

Even women who have a hard time expressing emotions use these subtle signs. Pay a little more attention to your man and you might just learn to decode his emotions after all.

Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.