People Who Are Good At Small Talk Ask These 15 Questions

People Who Are Good At Small Talk Ask These 15 Questions

If you’re ready to elevate your small talk game from mundane to mesmerizing, it’s time to switch up your conversation starters. Gone are the days of awkward silences and run-of-the-mill questions. Instead, imagine engaging in chats that are as enjoyable as they are insightful.

1. They Ask About Your Day in a Genuine Way.

When someone starts a conversation with, “How’s your day going?” and really listens, it changes the whole vibe. They’re not just filling in the silence; they’re genuinely interested in what you’ve been up to. Whether your day was fantastic, just another day, or even kind of a bummer, they’re all ears. This kind of attention makes you feel seen and valued. It’s a way of opening up the floor for you to share, setting the tone for a two-way conversation that’s more than just surface-level chit-chat.

2. They Often Inquire About Your Interests.

People who are great at small talk often steer the conversation towards your interests. When they ask about your hobbies or what you do for fun, it’s like they’re handing you the mic to talk about something you love. This shift in focus can make the conversation way more enjoyable for you. It’s not just about passing time; it’s about connecting on a personal level. Discussing your passions can also help them get to know you better and find common ground for further conversation.

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4. They’re Curious About Your Work – But Not in a Nosey Way.

Good conversationalists might ask questions like “Love your job?” or “What’s the best part of your work?” They avoid the bland “What do you do?” question and instead focus on your experiences and feelings about your job. This approach feels more personal and engaging. It allows you to share more about your work life in a way that’s meaningful to you. Plus, it can lead to discovering shared experiences or interests related to your professional life.

5. They Often Bring Up Recent Happenings or Events.

Bringing up recent movies, shows, or events is a clever way to keep the conversation current and engaging. This approach can help them get a sense of what you’re interested in and might even lead to a lively discussion about shared interests. It’s a strategy that helps break the ice by tapping into what’s happening in the world around you, making the conversation feel more dynamic and relevant.

6. They Like to Ask About Your Recent Experiences.

Asking about your recent experiences like travel or new restaurants is another tactic they use. This type of question is great for getting you talking about your adventures or new things you’ve tried. It keeps the conversation fresh and interesting. Sharing these experiences can also provide insight into your personality and lifestyle, which is great for building a connection.

7. They Might Ask For Your Opinion on Something.

When someone asks for your take on a recent news topic or your music preferences, it’s a sign they value your thoughts and opinions. This kind of question helps them learn more about your perspective and personality. It’s a respectful and engaging way to deepen the conversation and move beyond basic small talk. Plus, it shows they’re interested in you as an individual, not just in passing the time.

8. They Often Throw in a Light-hearted Question or Two.

Throwing in a fun question like, “If you could have any superpower, what would it be?” is a great way to add a bit of humor and playfulness to the conversation. These light-hearted questions can really break the ice and make the conversation more enjoyable. It’s a tactic that shows they’re not just about serious topics; they’re also interested in having fun and making the chat memorable.

9. They Often Share a Little About Themselves Too.

They might casually mention something they did over the weekend or a new cafe they tried. This isn’t just idle chatter; it’s a way of giving you a glimpse into their world. By sharing a bit about themselves, they create a balanced conversation where it’s not just you in the spotlight. It feels more like a two-way street, where both of you get to know each other better.

10. They’re Skilled at Picking Up on Non-Verbal Cues.

Good conversationalists are like detectives of body language. They notice if you lean in excitedly or glance away disinterestedly. They use these cues to steer the conversation in a direction that keeps you engaged. If you seem bored by a topic, they’ll switch gears. It’s all about creating a comfortable and engaging exchange, where both parties feel involved.

11. They Sometimes Reflect on Shared Experiences.

When they find a common experience, like surviving a particularly snowy winter or attending a local festival, they dive into it. This creates a sense of camaraderie and shared history, even if you’ve just met. Talking about shared experiences can turn a polite chat into a more meaningful connection, as it brings a sense of belonging and mutual understanding.

12. They Often Give Compliments or Positive Remarks.

A genuine compliment like appreciating your watch or praising your choice of book can be a great ice-breaker. It’s not just flattery; it’s a way of showing interest and appreciation for something about you. This can open up new topics of conversation, like your taste in accessories or literature, and makes the interaction more pleasant and engaging.

13. They Show an Interest in Your Family or Background in a Respectful Way.

Inquiring about where you’re from or asking about your family shows that they’re interested in your background and heritage. This is done in a respectful and non-intrusive way. It can lead to discussions about culture, traditions, or childhood memories, providing a deeper insight into each other’s lives.

14. They Occasionally Talk About Current Trends or Popular Culture.

Discussing the latest trend on social media or a viral pop culture moment can be a fun way to keep the conversation lively. It’s a way of tapping into the collective experience and seeing where you both stand on these lighter, more amusing topics. It can be a playful and easy-going way to gauge each other’s sense of humor and perspectives.

15. They Sometimes Discuss Weekend Plans or Upcoming Events.

Talking about future plans like weekend getaways or upcoming concerts can be a great way to learn about each other’s interests and lifestyles. It also provides an opportunity to share excitement about upcoming events or activities. This type of conversation often feels more dynamic and forward-looking, adding an element of anticipation and curiosity to the chat.

16. They Might Even Touch on Personal Achievements in a Modest Way.

When they mention a recent accomplishment or a goal they’ve reached, it’s often done modestly. It’s not about bragging; it’s about opening up a little more about their own life. This can encourage you to share your achievements and aspirations, making the conversation more balanced and mutually engaging.

Gail is Bolde's social media and partnership manager, as well as an all-around behind-the-scenes renaissance woman. She worked for more than 25 years in her city's local government before making the switch to women's lifestyle and relationship sites, initially at HelloGiggles before making the switch to Bolde.
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