18 Real, No-BS Ways To Make Him Regret Not Choosing You

Unrequited love or feeling overlooked seriously sucks, especially when you really like a guy, but it’s important to remember that your worth is not determined by someone else’s choices. Of course, when you’re feeling hurt and kinda demoralized by his lack of reciprocated feelings, that’s kinda hard to remember. Instead, you want him to realize that he’s made a serious mistake by not making you his. I can help with that! Here are 18 no-nonsense ways to thrive and make him regret not choosing you. He has no idea what he’s missing out on, but he soon will.

1. Love yourself first.

This might sound like generic advice, but it’s fundamental. Sometimes, after rejection, we tend to dissect every inch of ourselves, trying to find the reason we weren’t “enough.” But here’s the thing: love isn’t a measure of worth. It’s not a reward for being perfect or a punishment for lacking something.

So, instead of spiraling into self-doubt, prioritize self-love. When you genuinely love and respect yourself, it radiates outward. People notice that confidence and self-assuredness, and it can make them realize what they missed out on. Besides, when you love yourself, it becomes less about making him regret and more about celebrating who you are.

2. Focus on becoming the best possible version of yourself.

Post-rejection is the perfect time for self-improvement, not for him but for you. Maybe you’ve been thinking about taking up a new hobby, going back to school, starting a fitness journey, or pursuing a new career path. Do it now.

Dive into personal projects and passions. As you grow and evolve, you’re showing not just him, but the world, the potential he overlooked. Moreover, by investing time in yourself, you shift the focus from external validation to internal fulfillment.

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4. Enjoy the social scene.

Now’s not the time to hide away and wallow. Get out there and socialize! Whether it’s catching up with old friends, making new ones, attending parties, or joining social groups, immerse yourself in social activities. Not only does this provide a welcome distraction, but it also offers opportunities to build new memories.

When he sees or hears about you having a great time, being vivacious and loving life, there might be a twinge of regret. But more importantly, you’re reminding yourself of the fantastic, vibrant life you have, with or without him.

5. Live your best life.

You’ve heard it countless times, but now’s the moment to embody it fully. Living your best life isn’t about lavish vacations or showing off. It’s about finding joy in every day, pursuing what sets your heart on fire, and finding contentment in the present.

Maybe it’s setting aside quiet mornings for yourself, embarking on a spontaneous road trip, taking that pottery class you’ve always thought about, or just laughing more often. When he notices that you’re thriving, genuinely happy, and not just pretending for the world, it sends a powerful message. You didn’t need his validation to shine; you had the light in you all along.

6. Keep your self-respect and dignity intact.

Rejection stings. It can tempt you to act out of character, send that emotional text, or even seek vengeance. Resist that urge. Keeping your composure and dignity is pivotal. Not for his sake, but yours. When you look back, you want to feel proud of how you handled things.

By staying graceful in the face of hurt, you show immense strength. He’ll see a mature, self-respecting individual who handles setbacks with poise. And that’s the kind of energy that often makes someone rethink their choices.

7. Embrace positive change.

Life has a funny way of shaking things up, especially when we least expect it. While you might feel like you’ve lost something significant now, this could be the universe nudging you towards something better. Instead of resisting or wallowing, open your arms to change.

Explore new horizons, whether that’s in terms of personal hobbies, your career, or even your mindset. As you evolve and grow, it becomes evident that you’re adaptable, resilient, and forward-thinking. And often, when people witness this kind of transformative journey, they can’t help but wonder if they made a hasty decision in letting you go.

8. Date other guys and enjoy the single life.

It might sound counterintuitive at first, but hear me out. You were a whole person before him, and you’re still that fantastic person now. So, while it’s not about playing games or making someone jealous, allowing yourself to genuinely enjoy the single life can be liberating.

Go on dates. Experience new connections. It reminds you of your worth and the fact that there’s a whole world of potential relationships out there. And when he sees you genuinely having fun, embracing your freedom, and being sought after by others, he might realize what he’s missing out on.

9. Develop an unshakable sense of self-confidence.

Confidence has an undeniable allure. It’s more than just physical attractiveness—it’s an aura, a vibe that you send out to the world. When you truly believe in yourself, in your value and worth, it shows. So, work on cultivating this kind of confidence.

Whether it’s by mastering a new skill, achieving personal milestones, or simply embracing every part of yourself (flaws and all), wear your confidence like armor. When he observes the radiant, self-assured woman you’ve become, he might be left pondering his decision.

10. Pursue your passions.

Remember those dreams and hobbies you might have placed on the back burner? Now is the perfect time to reignite those flames. Dive deep into what makes your soul happy, whether that’s painting, dance, writing, mountain climbing, or any pursuit that’s close to your heart.

Not only will it bring you immense personal satisfaction, but it also presents you as a woman of depth and passion. Observing someone being deeply engrossed in what they love can be incredibly captivating. He’ll see a side of you that’s driven, passionate, and full of zest, and he might just rue the day he decided to walk away.

11. Meet new people — you never know who you might come across.

Life is all about connections, both big and small. It’s so easy to cocoon yourself post-breakup, but getting out there and meeting new faces can be an absolute game-changer. Attend workshops, join clubs or groups with similar interests, or just start saying ‘yes’ a bit more. Not only can it introduce you to potential new partners, but it can also expand your social circle or professional network.

Plus, every time you connect with someone new, you’re broadening your horizons and getting a fresh perspective. And the added bonus? If he catches wind of the vibrant social butterfly you’ve become, he might recognize that you’re flourishing without him.

12. Work on your “revenge body” (but do it for him, not for him).

Alright, we’ve all heard the term “revenge body.” While the name itself centers on making someone else regret their choices, it’s essential to pivot that mindset. Yes, physical transformation can be impressive, but it’s so much more meaningful if you’re doing it for yourself. Dive into a fitness routine or a new nutrition plan because it makes you feel good, strong, and confident.

Embrace the glow that comes from being healthy and active. It’s not about him; it’s about you feeling your best. And if he happens to notice the radiant, fit, and fabulous you? Well, that’s just the cherry on top.

13. Be friendly to him, but keep your boundaries intact.

There’s strength in being kind and gracious, especially when faced with awkward run-ins or mutual friend gatherings. Flash that warm smile, engage in some light chit-chat, and remind him of the awesome person he missed out on. However, friendliness doesn’t mean forsaking your boundaries.

You don’t owe him long conversations, explanations, or any emotional labor. Stick to your guns and maintain a distance that feels right for you. Being friendly while holding onto your boundaries sends a powerful message: “I’m doing great, and while I wish you well, I know where to draw the line for my own well-being.”

14. Achieve some big goals you’ve been chasing.

Everyone has those dreams or milestones they’ve tucked away for “someday.” Now’s the time to bring them to the forefront. Whether it’s pursuing a higher education degree, getting that dream job, traveling to a destination you’ve always wanted to visit, or even taking up a hobby you’ve been curious about, go for it! Every achievement will further solidify your self-worth and remind you of the dynamo you are.

As you accomplish these goals, you’ll not only boost your self-confidence, but it will be evident to others, including him, that you’re thriving and capable of great things, with or without someone by your side.

15. Radiate positivity — it’s infectious.

Positive energy is like a magnet. People naturally gravitate towards those who emit optimism and good vibes. By focusing on the brighter side of life and spreading positivity, you’ll attract a network of people who appreciate and resonate with your energy.

This isn’t about being artificially cheerful; it’s about genuinely trying to find the silver lining and expressing gratitude for the little things in life. As you light up rooms with your positivity, it will become clear to him, and everyone else, that your joy doesn’t hinge on one person or past regrets.

16. Find joy in the present moment.

It’s easy to get caught up reminiscing about the past or anxiously pondering the future. However, there’s a particular beauty in savoring the here and now. Find pleasure in the everyday moments, whether it’s the laughter shared with a friend, the warmth of the sun on a lazy afternoon, or the satisfaction of completing a task.

By rooting yourself in the present, you demonstrate a strong sense of self-awareness and contentment. When he sees you wholly immersed in and enjoying the present, it will be a stark reminder of the joyful, grounded person he missed out on being with.

17. Demonstrate Emotional Intelligence.

Emotional intelligence isn’t just about understanding your own emotions but also being tuned into others’ feelings. It’s about empathy, self-awareness, and effective communication. As you navigate the world with this heightened sense of understanding, you’ll cultivate better relationships, handle challenges gracefully, and maintain a balanced perspective.

When he notices your ability to address situations maturely and with tact, without losing your cool or playing games, it’ll be a stark reminder of the depth and substance he let go of.

18. Make him jealous.

Now, this isn’t about playing games or being petty. It’s not about flaunting a new fling in his face or showing off just to get a reaction. Instead, think of this more subtly. Being genuinely happy, meeting new people, and immersing yourself in new experiences will naturally induce a twinge of envy.

By showcasing a life full of joy, passion, and new adventures, he’ll inevitably start questioning his choices and wonder what it’d be like if he were still a part of your thriving life.

19. Move on from him completely.

The ultimate sign of personal growth and strength is the ability to fully move on. And while it might sound counterintuitive, showing that you can live a fulfilled life without him is the ultimate way to make him regret his decision. This isn’t about holding grudges or being indifferent; it’s about genuinely healing and finding contentment away from the past.

When he realizes that you’re not pining or waiting around for him, but instead exploring a life filled with happiness and new connections, he’ll recognize the full weight of the opportunity he missed.

20. Act like you don’t care.

There’s power in indifference. Instead of being visibly upset or trying to make him notice your every move, sometimes the most impactful thing you can do is to genuinely act like his decisions don’t affect your day-to-day happiness. This isn’t about putting on a facade or being cold; it’s about channeling your energy towards the things and people who truly matter in your life.

When he sees that his choices, actions, or lack thereof aren’t the centerpiece of your world, it becomes a subtle but powerful message. It tells him that you’ve embraced your worth, understand your value, and refuse to let anyone’s decisions dictate your self-worth. The idea here is not to pretend, but to find genuine fulfillment and joy outside of what he thinks or does. When you’re genuinely living unbothered, it often makes a louder statement than any words could.

Originally from Australia, Emma Mills graduated from the University of Queensland with a dual degree in Philosophy and Applied Linguistics before moving to Los Angeles to become a professional matchmaker (a bit of a shift, obviously). Since 2015, she has helped more than 150 people find lasting love and remains passionate about bringing amazing singletons together.

Emma is also the author of the upcoming Hachette publication, "Off the Beaten Track: Finding Lasting Love in the Least Likely of Places," due out in January 2025.