19 Effective, No-BS Ways To Make Him Jealous (And Want You More)

We’ve all been there – the temptation to make someone a little jealous can feel irresistible at times. Maybe you want to reignite the spark in your relationship, or perhaps you’re trying to catch the attention of someone you’re interested in. Whatever your motivation, making someone jealous should be approached with caution and respect. In this candid guide, we’ll explore six straightforward ways to make him jealous and potentially pique his interest. We’ll keep it real, grounded, and conversational, so you can navigate these strategies while being mindful of both your feelings and his.

1. Talk about your ex every once in a while.

It’s not about glorifying your past relationship or making it seem like you’re not over it. Instead, casually mentioning an innocent memory or something you learned from your previous relationship can make a guy wonder about your past and how he measures up.

It’s a bit like the proverbial dangling carrot – just enough to incite curiosity but not too much to be overwhelming. However, it’s essential to strike a balance. You want to pique his interest, not make him feel like he’s always competing with a ghost from your past.

2. Have a girls’ night out.

Everyone needs some quality time with their friends, and a girls’ night out is the perfect excuse. When he knows you’re out having fun without him, he might start wondering what you’re up to, who you’re with, and whether any guys are hitting on you. And let’s be honest, the idea of other men possibly being around you in a fun setting can ignite a spark of jealousy.

It reinforces the notion that you have an active social life and can have a great time without him. But more than anything, it’s about setting boundaries and letting him know that sometimes, it’s just about you and your friends, and he’s not invited to every party.

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4. Take your time returning his calls and texts.

In the age of instant messaging and rapid communication, taking a while to respond can make a statement. If he’s used to getting immediate replies from you and suddenly has to wait, it’ll make him wonder. Is she busy? Is she with someone? These questions can quickly spiral into mild jealousy.

But remember, the goal isn’t to make him anxious or doubt your interest. It’s about showing him that you have a life outside of the relationship and aren’t always available at his beck and call. Every once in a while, let him see that you’ve got things going on, which can subtly remind him to value the time and attention you give him.

5. Be confident and independent.

There’s something undeniably attractive about a woman who knows her worth and doesn’t seek validation from others, especially from a romantic partner. By showcasing your confidence and independence, you remind him that you’re with him by choice, not out of necessity.

This dynamic can create a subtle jealousy as he realizes that you have the power to move on if you choose to. It’s not about being aloof but about understanding and valuing your self-worth. Engage in activities solo, pursue personal goals, and maintain a sense of identity outside the relationship. When he sees that you don’t always need him by your side, it can make him want you more.

6. Hug another guy in front of him.

Physical touch, even as innocent as a hug, can be a potent tool in the game of jealousy. When he sees another guy getting close, even if it’s just a friendly gesture, it can create a pang of envy. It’s a reminder that others find you attractive and that he doesn’t have exclusive access to your attention.

But again, moderation is key. This isn’t about being overly flirty or making him uncomfortable. It’s merely highlighting that other guys are in your orbit, and he might need to step up his game if he doesn’t want to lose out.

7. Use light flirtation, but do so sparingly.

Treading cautiously here is the key. Light, innocent flirting isn’t about betrayal but about reminding him that others find you desirable. Maybe it’s laughing a bit more at someone else’s joke or playfully teasing someone in a group setting. Witnessing someone else bask in your charm can elicit a pang of jealousy in him.

It serves as a gentle reminder that if he takes you for granted, there are others out there who’d love to be in his place. However, be careful with this one; you don’t want to cross boundaries or make him genuinely insecure about the relationship.

8. Ignore him sometimes — you have better things to do than wait around.

This one’s a classic move. By not instantly replying to his messages, especially when he knows you’ve seen them, can stir the pot. It might make him wonder if he said something wrong or if someone else has caught your attention.

But, it’s essential not to overdo this one. Ignoring him consistently can send the wrong signal, possibly making him feel unimportant or neglected. It’s about occasionally letting him sit with his thoughts, rather than leaving him in the dark all the time. Think of it as giving him a little taste of his medicine if he ever keeps you waiting.

9. Have fun without him.

There’s no rule that says all your fun moments should be with your partner. Occasionally, showcasing that you can (and do) have a blast without him can be a potent reminder of your individuality. Post that photo of you and your friends laughing at a comedy club, share the thrill of that solo hiking adventure, or rave about the amazing book you just finished.

When he sees you enjoying life and having genuine fun without him, it might ignite a hint of jealousy. It’s a nudge that, while you love spending time with him, your happiness doesn’t solely hinge on his presence.

10. Show appreciation for other people.

It doesn’t hurt to occasionally point out the good qualities in other men, especially in a non-romantic context. Maybe it’s acknowledging a colleague’s achievement or commenting on a friend’s new fitness routine. It’s not about comparing him to others, but subtly letting him know that you notice and appreciate the good in men outside of your relationship.

He might start to think about how he can also gain such appreciation and might up his game to ensure he remains in the spotlight of your attention.

11. If other guys are interested in you, let him know.

While it might sound a bit forward, occasionally dropping hints that other guys are vying for your attention can be a real eye-opener for him. It’s a reminder that you’re desirable and that he’s not the only man who recognizes it. You could casually mention a compliment you received or share how someone tried to make a move on you.

This tactic isn’t about bragging, but subtly letting him know that he’s got competition. If he values you, he’ll likely step up his game, not wanting to be outshone by potential rivals.

12. Share your celebrity crush with him.

We all have that celeb that we’d love a chance to go out with because they’re just too hot. Sharing yours in a light-hearted manner can be a fun way to introduce a tiny bit of jealousy. Maybe it’s Chris Hemsworth’s charm or Keanu Reeves’ mysterious allure that gets you.

By occasionally gushing about these unreachable stars, you’re not really threatening the relationship but playfully hinting that he’s not the only man you find attractive. It’s a harmless nudge that can lead to playful banter and remind him that a little effort in the romance department never hurts.

13. Be unavailable sometimes.

Consistently being available at his every whim can sometimes lead to taking things for granted. Every now and then, let him know you’ve got other plans, even if it’s just a self-care night at home. The goal isn’t to play hard to get but to genuinely prioritize your needs and plans.

When he realizes he’s not your sole focus and that he needs to plan ahead to secure some quality time with you, it might stoke a touch of jealousy and a renewed effort on his part.

14. Develop a strong support system that doesn’t include him.

While it’s lovely to have your partner as one of your pillars of support, it’s crucial to maintain other support systems outside of the relationship. Surrounding yourself with friends, family, or even colleagues who understand, uplift, and support you can be empowering.

When he sees that you’re not solely leaning on him for emotional or social support, it can evoke a bit of jealousy. It serves as a reminder that while you value his support, you also have other sources of strength and comfort. It’s a testament to your resilience and the richness of your social life.

15. Go crush your goals.

There’s an undeniable allure to someone who’s ambitious and actively working towards their dreams. Whether it’s pursuing a new educational degree, working on a personal project, or even taking up a new hobby – go all out. When he sees you passionately chasing your dreams and celebrating your successes, it can ignite a mix of admiration and mild jealousy.

It subtly signals that while he’s an essential part of your life, he’s not the entirety of it. Plus, seeing you thrive might motivate him to chase after his own goals with renewed vigor.

16. Be genuinely happy with or without him.

A genuine sense of contentment and happiness, irrespective of whether he’s by your side, can be a powerful trigger for jealousy. When he realizes that your joy and fulfillment don’t entirely depend on him, it can be a wake-up call. By cultivating your sense of happiness – through personal achievements, self-care, friendships, or even solo adventures – you send a clear message.

You’re in the relationship because you want to be, not because you need him to be happy. This can make him reevaluate his place in your life and work towards being a more significant contributor to your shared happiness.

17. Maintain your boundaries.

Boundaries, both emotional and physical, are essential in any relationship. They signify respect, self-worth, and personal space. While it may seem counterintuitive, setting and adhering to your boundaries can indeed invoke a sense of jealousy or longing in your partner.

Think of it this way: If you’ve made it clear that certain nights are “me time” or that you prefer not to share every tiny detail of your day, it leaves a space of mystery and desire.

18. Reconnect with mutual friends you have.

Sometimes in relationships, we inadvertently drift away from mutual friends. Reconnecting with them can be a great way to keep the relationship vibrant and remind him of the shared connections you both have. When he hears from others about the fun hangout or deep conversation you had with mutual friends, it can induce a tinge of jealousy.

He might wonder what was shared and discussed or wish he had been there. Plus, it’s a healthy way to keep the larger circle of connections alive and remind both of you of the early days of your relationship.

19. Hang out with a guy friend.

While trust is fundamental in relationships, seeing you spend quality time with a male friend can stir some jealousy in your man. This isn’t about creating doubt or insecurity but subtly reminding him that other men value your company too. Share a coffee with an old college buddy or catch a movie with your work friend.

When he sees or hears about these outings, it can trigger a bit of a possessive streak, reminding him of the unique bond you two share. Always maintain transparency about such meetings to ensure trust isn’t breached.

20. Keep your options open.

This doesn’t mean actively dating others but staying open to life’s possibilities. Maybe it’s taking that solo trip, attending a singles’ mixer with a friend for fun, or even just continuing with activities where you might meet new people.

When he sees that you’re not closing yourself off or becoming overly reliant on the relationship, it can evoke a sense of jealousy. It’s a reminder that you’re a sought-after individual who chooses to be with him, not someone merely settling for the status quo.

Psychological reasons why being able to make him jealous is so effective

1. It evokes an emotional response.

Jealousy often triggers strong emotional reactions. When someone feels jealous, their brain releases stress hormones like cortisol, which heightens emotional responsiveness. This heightened emotional state can make individuals pay more attention to the situation or person that’s causing jealousy, as their brain perceives it as a threat.

2. It makes him feel super competitive.

Jealousy can create a sense of competition. Evolutionary psychology suggests that jealousy may have evolved as a mechanism to compete for a mate or resources. When someone feels jealous, they may be motivated to step up their efforts to win back the attention or affection of the person they desire.

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4. It heightens his attraction to you.

Studies in social psychology have shown that mild jealousy can actually increase attractiveness. This phenomenon, known as the “principle of scarcity,” suggests that when something becomes less available or more challenging to obtain, it tends to be perceived as more valuable. In the context of relationships, this can make the person who is the object of jealousy seem more desirable.

5. It improves your communication.

Jealousy can prompt individuals to communicate more openly and honestly about their feelings. When someone experiences jealousy, they may be compelled to have conversations about the relationship, its boundaries, and their expectations. These conversations can lead to a deeper understanding and potential resolution of issues.

6. It shows how important the relationship is to him.

Jealousy can be a sign that someone values the relationship and the person they’re with. It indicates a fear of losing something meaningful. In this way, jealousy can serve as a signal that the relationship is important and worth protecting.

Originally from Australia, Emma Mills graduated from the University of Queensland with a dual degree in Philosophy and Applied Linguistics before moving to Los Angeles to become a professional matchmaker (a bit of a shift, obviously). Since 2015, she has helped more than 150 people find lasting love and remains passionate about bringing amazing singletons together.

Emma is also the author of the upcoming Hachette publication, "Off the Beaten Track: Finding Lasting Love in the Least Likely of Places," due out in January 2025.
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