When you hit the dating scene, you usually find that all the wrong people are attracted to you. They tend to have serious issues or some toxic tendencies, so why are they coming to you? Could it be that you’re sending them signals? Here are 16 reasons why you keep attracting broken people whose lives are not together. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you can change your patterns.
1. You Want To Fix Them
One of the most common reasons for attracting less-than-together people is that you want to fix them. In turn, they end up seeing you as their savior! You’ll pay their rent, help them get a job, and so on — until you realize they can only change if they choose to. Ouch.
2. You Feel Broken
Maybe you attract these kinds of people because you’re feeling a bit damaged. Maybe you’re just out of a traumatic breakup or you have serious trust issues. Your vibe is attracting other people with similar problems. There’s no way you can draw healthy people to you if you’re not in a good place yourself.
3. You’re Eager To Please
You’re walking around with an invisible sign on your forehead telling people that you’re a doormat. Messy people are drawn to you because they can see from a mile away that you’ll do anything they want just to keep them around. You need to boost your self-worth so you can start repelling users like this. (If you need some help with that, check out our sister site, Sweetn. They have research-backed tips, tricks, and advice that will change your love life in just a few weeks!)
4. You Crave Their Validation
You don’t have any boundaries, so you allow other people to take advantage of you. You tend to do this to get their approval. Broken people see you as a lighthouse in a stormy sea, but soon their gratitude for your help can turn into taking advantage of your kindness.
5. You Thrive In High-Drama Situations
The issue at play could be that you like to deal with drama. You get bored if things are too peaceful, perhaps because you’re so used to dramatic and stressful environments. This is what broken people bring to the table, and it gives you a rush of excitement (until it turns into something toxic).
6. You’re Relieved They’re Not Boring
Sometimes you find niceness boring. As a result, messy people intrigue you because they have mystery and depth. The risk? They could be bringing you more drama than you know what to do with! While it might seem a bit less exciting, people who have their proverbial ducks in a row will make much better partners and friends.
7. You’re A Nurturing Person
It’s great to be polite and treat others with respect. It’s not great if you’re so nice that you’re letting people think you’re going to be like a mother or father figure to them. Gross. Nurturing someone should never become smothering them. You shouldn’t be bailing them out of their problems. It’s not your obligation.
8. You Feel Their Pain
You’ve always been able to feel other people’s emotions. You’re empathetic, and it can sometimes be draining. People see this warmth inside you and it reels them in. Make sure you have some firm boundaries in place to protect yourself!
9. You Give Them The Time Of Day
Some broken people are used to being rejected in their lives. So, when someone comes along who gives them the time of day and seems genuinely interested in what they have to say, it can be intoxicating. Most people would write them offer entirely until they got their act together!
10. You Give Off A Non-Judgmental Vibe
You walk through life with an open heart. You don’t bother with judging people because you know that nobody’s perfect and you truly believe that everyone has redeeming qualities and reasons for being who hey are. People with serious issues can feel comfortable around you, which is why they’re so drawn to you.
11. You Feel A Sense Of Familiarity
You might be used to people who are damaged. Maybe this person who’s entered your life reminds you of your father or old friend. This can cause you to want to help them, maybe to ease your guilt for how you were unable to help others in your life. Don’t enter into relationships for the wrong reasons — it won’t help you or anyone.
12. You See Their Potential
This person you’ve met might be amazing, with all the qualities you look for in a partner. The only problem is that they’re going through something traumatic or they’re trying to get their life together. You might see potential for them to be a big part of your life, but again it’s dangerous to think you can change them.
13. You’re Self-Sabotaging Yourself
You might be drawn to people who are going to hurt you. It sounds weird to say, but this could happen because you have low self-esteem and it’s causing you to sabotage your happiness. By working on yourself, you can raise your standards and date people who are healthy and complete within themselves.
14. You Don’t Know How To Do “Healthy Relationship”
You might feel damaged and unsure of how to be healthy and well-adjusted. Maybe you’ve never known a healthy relationship. So, it’s no wonder that you’re drawing the same people to you, and it’s just causing more drama and chaos in your life. Take some time out of the dating game and work on yourself so you can attract people you want.
15. You Run From Commitment
While you might think you want a committed and healthy relationship, the truth is that you could be scared of tying yourself to someone. This makes you reach out to people who you subconsciously know won’t be able to give you the happy, healthy relationship you’re after.
16. You’re A Love Laborer.
If you lack self-worth, you could believe that you have to work hard to get others to love you. You’re a hard worker when it comes to love, but it’s causing you to attract toxic people. Who said you had to work up a sweat just to be respected? That doesn’t make sense!
