Don’t Waste Your Time On Toxic Guys — Here’s How To Recognize One When You See One

You enter basically every relationship with an eyebrow raised — you’re skeptical of guys and for good reason. A toxic guy is sometimes hard to recognize and you’re afraid he might be disguising himself as a decent member of society. Don’t panic — he’ll always show his true nature; you just have to pay attention. Here’s how to recognize a toxic guy right off the bat before you waste your time on him:

  1. He wants nudes.If he asks for naked pictures of you when you’ve just met, he’s a toxic guy, period. He’s disrespectful and obviously not that smart. Celebrities are getting their photos leaked left and right, and they have a ton of security. This guy really thinks you’d trust him enough to send dirty pictures to his not-even-password-protected iPhone? Uh, how about no?
  2. He never makes concrete plans. He always wants to hang but never actually comes up with a day, time, or location. It’s because he couldn’t care less if he actually sees you! He’s got plans with Ashley, Danielle, and Britney — he’s too busy to make concrete plans with you. Sure, he might say, “Hit me up when you’re free,” but it’s only to make himself look good. He wants you to think he’s interested without him actually having to try so that if any of his other plans fall through, he’s got you on the backburner.
  3. He texts you randomly. He stays hitting you up on weeknights, but once the weekend rolls around, he goes into ghost mode. I wonder why? Uh, he’s a toxic guy, that’s why. When he’s bored, he’ll ask about your day, but when he’s happy and having fun, he’ll go MIA — the most telling rhyme there is. There’s nothing more obnoxious than an inconsistent man… or should I say man-child.
  4. Everything he says sounds rehearsed. Everything out of his mouth sounds like something he read in a self-help book. He says things like, “I’ve been working on myself for the last year, and now I’m ready to give love a chance.” What does that even mean? Honestly, he just loves hearing himself talk. He’s narcissistic and he truly believes everything he says is incredibly charming — classic toxic guy thinking.
  5. He flirts by sexting. His idea of courting is sliding into your inbox with dirty talk… at midnight. He never just sends “hey,” it’s always attached with a pet name and those ever so douchey emojis — you know the one’s I’m talking about (the devil, tongue, splashes of water). If he’s constantly texting you after hours, it’s because he’s only thinking about you at night — you know what that means.
  6. He’s got too many “friends.” You can’t tell if he’s truly single. I mean, he’s probably not in an exclusive relationship, but the jury’s still out on the number of hookup buddies he has. Let’s be honest, his Snapchat score is way too high and he has too many girls leaving comments under his Instagram posts — you know something’s up. Not to mention, he’s surrounded by females in every picture he posts… need I say more?
  7. He “doesn’t believe in titles.” Hate to break it to him, but not believing in titles doesn’t make them any less real. They exist and he knows it — he just doesn’t want to use them. It’s not because he’s afraid of commitment or too busy with work or school. Those are BS excuses and he’s saying them because the truth is way worse — he just wants to bone around with as many ladies as he possibly can. Run!
  8. He can’t hold his liquor. Is he that drunk guy at the bar who spills his drink on everyone he talks to? Sounds like he’s got toxic tendencies. He goes out every weeknight with his “squad” because he’s still stuck in his college phase. For some reason, he just can’t adult. He’s using alcohol and sex to suppress the fact that he’s not a teenager anymore and has real life responsibilities. Honestly, it sounds like he could really benefit from a therapy session — anything that could help his Peter Pan syndrome.
  9. His jokes are inappropriate. You love a good joke, but he takes things a little too far. You’ve heard him call girls “fatties” and “sluts” — maybe even the “c” word on more than one occasion. He’s never called you names (to your face), but the way he talks about other people tells you everything you need to know. He’s got no chill and no respect — that’s a dangerous combination.
  10. He doesn’t have answers. It doesn’t matter if it’s a simple yes or no question — he can’t answer it without sounding like a political candidate. All you want to know is whether or not he’s free this weekend. But instead of answering, he flips it around and asks what your weekend plans are. WTF? He’s a genius at taking the attention away from him, and it’s because he’s got toxic guy stuff to hide.
  11. His friends know too much. You can tell he’s a toxic guy, by what he and his friends gossip about (AKA sex stuff). He puts his sexual history on blast. If his friends know intimate details about the girls he’s slept with, you better believe they’re going to know the same details about you. Sex is a trophy to him — one that he brags about to his friends for awhile, before putting it up on a display shelf and inevitably forgetting it’s even there.
Jordan White is a writer based in Scottsdale, Arizona with more than 8 years of experience. She graduated from Northern Arizona University with a degree in Rhetoric and Creative Writing in 2015 and while there, she wrote for The Daily Wildcat. She has since written for sites including FanBread, and, of course, Bolde. You can find about more her on Facebook. She has a passion for giving her audience something to laugh about and despises the heat more than anything.