You might have noticed that when you’re in a relationship, you tend to get a lot more interest from guys who aren’t your boyfriend. It’s a strange phenomenon, particularly since it took you so long to find your current guy, but it does make a lot of sense. Plus, knowing what’s behind the sudden surge of men’s interest in taken ladies might actually be able to help you turn the tables in your favor even when you’re not actually in a relationship.
You have zero desperation.
People can sense desperation a mile away, whether it’s for a boyfriend, a job you need, or a ride to the airport you’re hoping for. When you’re cool with where you’re at in life and fully self-sufficient, it shows.
You’re confident that you can land a guy.
Sometimes when you’ve been single for a long time, you begin to lack confidence in your ability to find love. That self-doubt definitely shows, but obviously not when you’re in a relationship since, well, you actually found love. Guys love women who are self-assured.
It’s not that you flirt with other men, necessarily, but there’s no reason for you to have your defenses up when they talk to you. You have a built in excuse to use whenever they start pushing for your phone number, but you can still be open and approachable in the meantime, and guys love that.
You’ve got something that someone else wants.
Human beings can be competitive creatures, and if a guy knows that you’re in a relationship, he might see it as validation that there’s something special about you and start wanting you for himself.
If your relationship is a good one, it’s probably making you happy, and people are generally drawn to light and happy people who aren’t projecting their pain on the rest of the people in line for their morning brew at the coffee shop. There’s nothing a thousand watt smile can’t fix (or at least drastically improve).
People want what they can’t have.
It’s strange but true. Some guys see it as a challenge when they realize that a woman is in a relationship. You could probably blame many of the cheating scandals out there on this exact issue.
You’re not going after every guy in sight.
Some guys like to be pursued, but there’s an energy that makes it obvious when you’re open to five different people at the same bar, not just the one guy who’s interested in you. When you’re not scoping out any that might buy you a free drink, you’re bound to be automatically more mysterious and attractive.
You’re having sex.
Have you looked at someone and just knew they weren’t getting laid? That’s not what’s happening when people are looking at you. They might not care who you’re doing it with, but the fact that you are — not to mention the glow it’s giving you — is intriguing in itself.
You’re not competing with any of your fellow women.
When you’re coupled up, you feel less competitive with your friends, coworkers, etc. over your respective dating lives. Focusing more on yourself rather than what other women have makes room for more of the real you to enter into conversations, and that’s hot.
You’re not planning your life around your single status.
Sometimes when you’re looking for love, you plan certain activities or lots of nights out to put yourself in the best position to meet someone new. People who aren’t specifically looking tend to explore more of their own interests, which can ultimately make you pretty interesting (and simultaneously introduce you to people you wouldn’t have met otherwise)
You’re not leading with your walls.
When you’re in a relationship, you probably dropped some of those walls anyway, but any that are still up never really get tested since you were generally using them to protect yourself from potentially bad guys. That openness shows, and it’s appealing.
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