You might think people only notice your insecurities when you open your mouth to speak to them, but that’s definitely not the case. Your body language, from how well you maintain eye contact to how you carry yourself, gives people huge insight into your level of confidence. Are you telling the world you’re plagued by insecurity? The answer is yes if you do these things regularly.
1. Your eye-contact game is off.
Eye contact is a secret weapon for confidence. Avoiding someone’s gaze during a conversation makes you seem unsure, even shifty, per Inc. It’s like your eyes are saying, “I don’t believe in myself.” Hold their gaze (without getting creepy-starey), and you’ll instantly convey confidence and genuine interest.
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2. Your smile is fake.
You can try plastering on a fake smile, but if it doesn’t reach your eyes, everyone can tell. Forced smiles scream insecurity rather than confidence. The key is to think of something that makes you genuinely happy. Let that positive emotion ripple into your expression, and your smile will become naturally radiant – and a true display of confidence.
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3. You’re looking around because you’re not listening.
Eye contact isn’t just about the eyes, but the ears too. People can tell just by looking at your eyes that you’re not listening to them. To prevent this from happening, lean in to the person and look at them while they’re speaking. Avoid staring out the window or glancing at your watch or phone. You might also want to nod at appropriate times in their story to show that you’re really listening.
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4. You bite your lip often.
Fidgeting is a common nervous habit, but some giveaways are more subtle than others. Constantly biting or picking at your lips is a telltale sign of anxiety. Think of it as a physical manifestation of your inner worries. Instead of letting your lips take the brunt, channel that nervous energy into something positive – take a deep breath, clench and unclench your hands, or doodle on a notepad.
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5. Your posture is always slouched.
They say you never get a second chance to make a first impression, and posture plays a surprisingly big role. Walk into a room hunched over, and you might project insecurity before you even speak, USA Today points out. Stand tall with your shoulders back and chin held high – it’s a simple trick that conveys confidence and openness. It’s like telling the world, “I’m here, I’m worthy, and I’m ready to connect.”
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6. Your hands are raised.
The classic “I’m sorry!” hand gesture – palms out, shoulders slightly raised — is extremely telling. It can be useful when you actually need to apologize, but it becomes problematic if you’re constantly pre-apologizing for your very existence. This shrinking, submissive posture screams insecurity. Own your space! It’s a simple gesture, but it sends a much more confident message to the world.
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7. You shrug a lot.
When someone asks you questions and you keep shrugging your shoulders, you’re not only telling them you’re confused, but you’re communicating that you’re unsure of yourself or where you stand.
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8. You stuff your hands in your pockets.
Shoving your hands in your pockets might feel safe and comfortable, but watch out – it reads as closed off and even a bit suspicious. It’s like saying, “I’ve got something to hide.” Instead, let your hands hang naturally or try incorporating gestures into your conversation. This conveys openness, confidence, and shows you’re fully engaged in the moment.
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9. You self-hug.
We all need a comforting hug sometimes, but clutching yourself in social settings sends a message of vulnerability rather than confidence. It’s like you’re asking for reassurance from the world instead of believing in your own strength. Uncross your arms, stand up straight, and offer the world a handshake instead of a hug – you’ll project a whole new level of self-assurance.
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10. Your hands are clammy.
You’ve got the firm handshake down, but a wet or clammy handshake is always a no-no. It’s a clear sign that you’re feeling so insecure or nervous that your sweat glands are going into overdrive.
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11. You hold things in front of your chest.
Ever feel the urge to clutch your bag or coffee cup close like a shield? While it might feel comforting in the moment, it creates a physical barrier between you and others. This can make you seem closed off and unapproachable. Instead, try holding your belongings to the side or resting them on a table. It’s a subtle shift that conveys openness and a willingness to connect.
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12. You wear a lot of baggy clothing.
Although comfy clothing is always in style, you should be wary of wearing clothing that’s too baggy. It can give the impression that you don’t care about making an effort. Of course, consider where you’re going and what event you’re attending, so you dress appropriately and confidently.
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13. You’re always daydreaming.
Zoning out during conversations sends a clear signal that you’re not fully present. That faraway gaze can make you appear distracted and even insecure. While it might be a way of coping with social anxiety, it also suggests you’re retreating into your own thoughts because you don’t feel worthy of engaging in the moment. Focus on active listening and being present – you’ll naturally project confidence and make a more positive impression.
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14. You’re always frowning.
A constant frown isn’t just a turn-off, it can backfire if you’re trying to project confidence. While some insecure folks might wear a frown like a mask, hoping to seem focused or important, it often comes across as unapproachable and standoffish. A relaxed expression conveys far more confidence – show the world you’re open to positive interaction.
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15. You roll your eyes at a compliment.
Ever get a compliment and instantly cringe? Maybe you brush it off with a joke, roll your eyes, or desperately change the subject. Awkward, right? This reaction isn’t just about modesty, it’s a sign of low self-esteem. Here’s the thing: when someone compliments you, they’re offering a gift. Instead of downplaying it, take a deep breath and offer a simple (but genuine) “thank you.” It’ll feel good, we promise.
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