Signs He Doesn’t Want A Relationship With You & What You Can Do About It

While it’s a hard pill to swallow, it’s possible that the guy you’re seeing doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you. He might pretend to be open to the idea, but his behavior sends an entirely different message. It’s unfortunate when you really like someone but he’s not on the same page. If you worry that the guy you’ve fallen for might not want a relationship with you (or in general), watch out for these tell-tale signs.

1. He avoids defining your relationship. This is a major red flag and one of the biggest signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. If you’ve already been in an undefined relationship before, it’s not a mistake you want to repeat again. Try and muster up  the courage to ask the difficult question, “What are we?” If he dodges this question every time you raise it, this is a sign from the universe that he’s not into anything serious. He just can’t bring himself to admit it. Sis, don’t waste any more time with this guy. Move on immediately.
2. He doesn’t try to move things along. A guy who wants to be in a relationship with you will definitely make his intentions crystal clear to you. He’ll tell you he can’t wait to make things official and then he’ll actually take steps to make it happen. On the other hand, a guy who doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you won’t mention a relationship. You’ll just be like two random people hanging out and having fun but without a purpose (other than maybe for him to get laid). If he hasn’t communicated his intention to be in a relationship with you, don’t assume he wants to be in one. Ask him what he’s up to so that you don’t waste time chasing the wind.
3. He goes MIA from time to time. Read the signs — unless he was kidnapped or in a serious accident, there’s no reason a guy who wants to be in a relationship with you will go MIA and go mute about it. If he really is into you and wants something serious, he’ll explain everything to you. If he just disappears for days or weeks and then shows up with neither an explanation nor an apology, you’re on your own. He was probably hanging out with people he feels are more important and doesn’t value you enough to let you into what’s happening in his life. This is not the kind of person you fight for. On the contrary, you should run away from him as fast as possible before he messes you up.
4. He doesn’t talk about your future together. This guy you’re so in love with should reflect those feelings back at you. Do you talk about the future together? Does he talk about his dream wedding with you? Kids together? If he only talks of his dreams, plans, and goals and none of those involve you, it’s clear that you aren’t part of his future. He’s probably hanging around for other reasons but he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you. If you’re looking for a relationship, look elsewhere. The right one is somewhere looking for you, so don’t settle.
5. He’s all about sex. This is another of the biggest signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. What do you talk about and do with this guy when you’re together? Do you go out for a coffee date or do you only meet indoors? While there are a lot of ways to have fun at home, if all you end up doing is having sex, watch out. A guy who wants to be in a relationship will want to know you better and create memories with you that don’t necessarily involve sex. On the other hand, a guy who wants to keep things casual doesn’t care about your needs, goals, and aspirations. Unless you’re looking for an NSA arrangement, it’s time to revamp your Tinder bio.
6. He’s a busy man. It’s okay if he gets swamped with office work and meetings once in a while, but if he’s always too busy to meet up, chat, or take your phone calls, he isn’t into you as you’re into him. Actually, he lacks the right words to tell you that you’re a bother or he wants to stick around until he accomplishes his mission. Any man who wants to be in a relationship will do all they can to create time to be with you, so acting too “busy” is one of the biggest signs to the contrary. If he’s barely making any effort to spend time with you, you’re better off single than being in a miserable almost relationship.
7. He hides you from his family and friends. If a guy loves you for real and is serious about being in a relationship with you, he’ll be excited to introduce you to his friends and family. You may not meet them within the first few weeks, but after a few months of dating, an introduction is in order. If he never invites you to his parties or get-togethers with the people he’s closest to despite dating him for several months, something is wrong. It could mean that you’re not the kind of girl he wants to be seen with. It could also mean that you’re not the girl he wants to be in a long-term relationship with and he thus prefers that your situationship stays secret. For the sake of your well-being, look for a guy who values you and won’t be ashamed of showing you off to the world.
8. He’s still seeing other women. When you’re dating a man and he’s still interested in other women, it’s as clear as daylight that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you. If you’re in the talking stage, that’s fine. But if you have been dating for a few weeks but he’s still on dating apps talking to other women, it means you aren’t his perfect match. The earlier you accept this hard truth and leave, the happier you’ll be. Noticing the signs he doesn’t want a relationship is vital if you want to avoid wasting precious time and energy.

What to do if you notice the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you

1. Make your intentions clear. If you haven’t come outright and told the guy that you’re looking for a serious relationship rather than casual dating, there’s no time like the present. Chances are, you feel like you’ve been giving him all the signs that you want a relationship and he doesn’t seem to be picking up what you’re putting down. Time to tell him straight up.
2. Ask him where he stands. If he’s not showing you signs he wants a relationship with you, chances are, he doesn’t. However, if you think there might be something there and the guy is just being coy or is feeling nervous about committing, you could ask him where his head is at. If he’s decent, he’ll be honest. (Then again, even if he says all the right words, if his actions don’t line up, that’s the real truth.)
3. If he’s not feeling it, walk away. You deserve someone who actually wants to be with you and isn’t shy about making that clear. If this guy doesn’t want a relationship with you, he obviously doesn’t deserve one. Respect yourself and walk away.