Why You Should Stop Looking For A Boyfriend & Start Embracing Your Life As-Is

It’s common to base our self-worth entirely on whether or not we’re in a relationship — for many of us, finding a boyfriend equates to a feeling of acceptance. It’s almost as if a relationship defines what makes us “good enough,” but this couldn’t be further from the truth. You don’t need a new man, you need a new mindset. It’s time to stop looking for a boyfriend and start focusing on yourself.

  1. You’re the source of your own happiness. No woman ever needs a partner to complete her. Period. Your joy comes from your own self-worth and self-esteem. You’re enough as-is. It’s as simple as that. When you find the right partner, they should add to the fulfilling life you’re already living. You alone are the finished project and you should never forget that.
  2. Not all relationships are ideal anyway. Sometimes, we feel like we’re missing out on something by not being in a relationship. Sadly, the fantasy of the ‘dream guy’ doesn’t match the grim reality of the toxic modern-day relationship. Don’t get me wrong; the fairytale relationship does exist (although it’s hard to come by) but the more desperate you become, the lower your standards will slip. Don’t let your desperation push you into an unhealthy relationship. Don’t ever ignore the crap a guy gives you. Look the fear of being single square in the face and know you’re better off without him if he’s bringing constant negativity into your life.
  3. You don’t need a man to tell you that you’re beautiful. You don’t need a guy to compliment you. Your image and the way you portray yourself to the world should be something you do for yourself. If you want to wear makeup, put it on because it makes you feel good, not because you want the approval of anyone else. Doing this will make you feel free as a bird, I promise you.
  4. Play the field. One of the best things about single life is having the time to learn for yourself what you want from future relationships. What better reason to stop looking for a boyfriend? Have fun on dates and go on as many as you’re comfortable with. Enjoy the perks of dating without the heaviness of a full-blown relationship. Over time, you’ll begin to realize what you want from a partner rather than just rushing into your next relationship for the sake of it.
  5. There are obvious benefits to being single. On a lighter note, you don’t need a man to be leaving the toilet seat up, hogging the bed, and leaving dishes in the sink to ‘allegedly’ soak. A man needs to be truly worth keeping around to put up with this kind of aggravation!
  6. You don’t need to vent to a man—that’s what your BFFs are for. I’m a massive advocate for venting and the need for catharsis. However, you don’t need a man for that. Speak to your girls, your family, or even just put pen to paper. There are so many ways you can relieve the weight off your chest without rushing into the arms of a man.
  7. You don’t need a man to spoil you. You don’t need a dude to buy you things. Learn to love spoiling yourself because you know you’re worth it! If you’ve had a hard week, treat yourself to the new purse you’ve been eyeing up. You don’t need a guy to do that for you.
  8. Embrace your freedom. Embrace making all of your decisions by yourself, for yourself — without having someone trying to influence your thoughts and opinions. Allow this to empower you. See what you can achieve alone, throw yourself into doing this, and you’ll be amazed at your inner strength. You’ll do things that you had no idea you were capable of. For instance, if you want to change your job, take action and start applying for new ones. Maybe you’ve always wanted to travel. Go ahead and book a plane ticket. Perhaps you’ve always wanted to give a new hobby a go. Get the ball rolling and try it out! The world is full of possibilities ripe for the plucking and you have nothing and no one holding you back. Make the most of it; you certainly don’t need a man to make your ambitions happen. Once you realize your worth, the world is truly your oyster.
  9. You don’t need a handyman. There’s virtually nothing women can’t do, and this includes DIY! There’s pretty much a YouTube tutorial for everything and anything these days, so there are no excuses. If something in your house breaks, find out how to fix it! Have fun learning a new skill and be confident in the knowledge that you’re able to overcome anything life throws at you. Girl, you’ve got this—you don’t need to rely on a man for that.
  10. Learn to love your own company. Learn to value the time you spend alone, over the time you spend with anyone else. Enjoy a night in by yourself. Use this as an opportunity to start that book you’ve been meaning to crack open, shamelessly marathon a Netflix series, or have a long relaxing bath. Whatever you enjoy, make sure you make time for it. Prove to yourself you don’t need a man to enjoy yourself.
Rosie Greaves is a professional freelance writer based in Canterbury, UK. She specializes in lifestyle and relationships pieces and has a pet house rabbit called Bill!