Stop Rushing Into Sleeping With Guys — It’s Okay To Wait

Do you ever feel like the odd one out because you don’t want to have sex on the first date? You’re not alone. Not everyone is bonking the minute they finish drinks or dinner with someone new, and that’s not just okay, it’s great, especially if you’re staying true to yourself. It doesn’t matter if you’re not a virgin or if you used to have plenty of casual relationships — you don’t have to hop in the sack with someone when you’re not ready, end of story.

  1. It’s your body. I’ve always believed if it’s your body, it’s your choice as to what you do with it. Ignore the pressure from your friends. It’s not their body or their choice. It’s all up to you.
  2. You want it to mean something. Somewhere along the way, sex lost its meaning. It’s all about scratching a quick itch and moving on now. It should be meaningful and more than a sweaty roll in the hay with someone you want even remember tomorrow.
  3. You’ve got more important things to do. I know many might gasp as this, but yes, there are more important things in life than sex. It’s not some kind of risk-free hobby. Maybe you’d rather focus on building a career or traveling the world without being tied down by an unexpected pregnancy.
  4. STDs aren’t your thing. Condoms and abstinence are your best protections against STDs. No matter how much you get tested, you still want to know you have one until it’s too late. Waiting for sex reduces your risk by limiting how many sexual partners you have. It’s not a guarantee, but it does help. Besides, you might have better things to do than wait at a clinic or doctor’s office to be tested all the time.
  5. Pregnancy isn’t an option right now. No birth control is 100%. Odds are, you probably know quite a few people who take the pill, use the patch, have an IUD or use some other form of 99.9% effective birth control and have ended up pregnant. Choosing to wait is a guarantee that you won’t have to worry at all about pregnancy until you’re ready.
  6. The relationship comes first. What happened to focusing on getting to know each other first? Jumping straight into sex can put a strain on even the best relationships. Besides, getting to know your partner first makes the sex so much better later.
  7. You’d like the avoid the horror stories. Maybe you’re a virgin and you’ve heard all the horror stories about horrible one-night stands. Maybe you’ve been there yourself and you don’t want to go back. Either way, waiting lets you skip some of these extremely awkward sexual situations.
  8. You like building excitement. Remember how excited you were during the months leading up to Christmas, wondering what might be under the tree? Waiting for sex works the same way. It’s fun to wait and build that anticipation and excitement. It makes the sex so much more passionate.
  9. It’ll be more memorable. You’ve waited and now the moment has come. Instead of it just being a quickie with someone you barely know, it’s something memorable with someone you care about. Even if things don’t work out in the end, you’ll still remember it.
  10. Love equals better sex. I think there’s something to be said for saving sex until you’re in love. I’m not talking about teenage puppy love either. I’m talking about a mature love shared between two people. Sex might be good now, but if you wait until you’re in love, it’ll be so much more intense. Your friends might make fun of you now, but when you tell them how much better your sex life is one day than theirs, they’ll be jealous.
  11. Waiting makes it even hotter. All the flirting, teasing, and making out for months or even years is like the ultimate foreplay. Waiting doesn’t mean you don’t want it. You just know how much hotter it’s going to be by waiting a little while. It’s not just going to be a one-time thing either. All that waiting leads to hotter sex for years to come.
  12. The right person doesn’t mind waiting. I know you might be thinking you should just give in. He says he loves you and if you loved him you’d sleep with him. Dump that guy now. Any guy worth having doesn’t mind waiting. He’ll respect your wishes. He definitely won’t try any silly lines on you. If nothing else, it’s a good way to see if a guy’s interested in you or just your body.
  13. You’re not missing anything. Far too many people have sex as soon as possible because they’re afraid they’re missing out on something. You’re not missing anything. Sex will happen when you’re ready. Until then, you have plenty of other things to experience. While your friends are busy sweating between the sheets, you’re out having fun with new hobbies, starting your own business, meeting new friends and even finding a long-term guy versus a booty call.
  14. There aren’t any rules about when. Go ahead and search. I’ll wait. Can’t find any definitive source on when you’re supposed to have sex? I couldn’t either. You’re not obligated to have sex on date one or date 100. You don’t have to do it before graduating high school or while you’re in college. The great thing about sex is you choose the when.
  15. You’re not ready to get serious. Sex can be extremely intimate. Women often form attachments after having it. Aren’t ready to get serious with anyone just yet? Wait for a while. You have your own life to focus on. Guys and sex can just wait.
  16. You don’t feel the need to prove anything. Sex seems to be some right of passage for many, but rushing into it doesn’t prove anything. Sex doesn’t make you any more mature. For many, it just makes them even more immature. Be true to yourself and forget about proving yourself to anyone else.
  17. Everybody else isn’t doing it. I know it seems like everyone else is doing it. No, they’re not. In fact, one study has already proven millennials are more conservative about sex. So see, it really is okay to wait. Many others are, too.

Sex isn’t your only purpose in life. Enjoy yourself in other ways. Waiting could be the best choice you ever make.

Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.