Whether it’s a conscious choice or it’s just the way the cookie is currently crumbling, when you spend a lot of time alone, it changes who you are at your core. Not only do you notice small changes in your personality, but your behavior shifts to accommodate no one else but you. Here are some things you might relate to if you’re often on your own.
1. You get lazy about dressing up (or getting dressed at all).
When you spend a lot of time alone, you realize you really have no one to impress. No one is going to see you, so why do you need to change out of your ratty sweatpants and oversized hoodie? That’s just going to create more laundry, so really, you’re being environmentally conscious by staying in your PJs all day while working from home.
2. You start to feel awkward when you do actually have to be social.
When you’re used to being on your own a lot, on the rare occasion when a social event does pop up, it feels… weird. You find yourself staring at people and thinking, “God, I don’t really miss this…” Sure, maybe you’re a low-key introvert and being the life of the party isn’t your vibe in general, but it becomes downright painful when the majority of your time is spent solo.
3. You convince yourself that people are the worst and that you don’t really like any of them.
When you spend a lot of time alone, you start to realize (or think you realize) how annoying people are. They’re loud, obnoxious, and kind of the worst, right? Of course, this mentality could be down to the fact that you’re becoming a bit lonely and isolated, but it could also be down to the fact that… it’s true? When you have the peace and quiet that comes along with being on your own, it’s hard to want to deal with other people’s crap.
4. You start talking to yourself a lot more (and maybe even answering).
When there’s no one else to talk to, you talk to yourself. A lot of people have an internal monologue (anywhere from 50-60% of the population), but when there’s no one there but you, it tends to become external. You find yourself standing in the kitchen with the cabinets open, going, “Now, what do I want for dinner?” aloud rather than thinking it in your head. Don’t worry, this is not really a big deal — you probably only need to worry if you start answering yourself aloud too, ha!
5. You spend a lot of time online. Like, a lot.
Spending a lot of time alone, whether by choice or circumstance, means you end up having a lot of spare time. You (hopefully) have plenty of hobbies and habits that take up a lot of those hours, but if you don’t, chances are you probably go online. Like, a lot. Maybe idle social media scrolling is your drug of choice, or maybe you love getting up in arms in Reddit threads for hours on end. Either way, you’re surfing that WWW like Kelly Slater.
6. You get a bit too comfortable with being gross.
Like foregoing the whole “outside clothes” thing, it’s possible that when you spend a lot of time alone, personal hygiene habits fall by the wayside. I mean, there’s no one around to be grossed out by you, so who cares if your entire apartment reeks of rancid farts or you still haven’t washed last week’s dishes and they’re starting to grow mold? You can’t remember the last time you washed your hair or your bed sheets, but who’s going to call you on it? (Me. Please look after yourself!)
7. You get bored.
I’m an only child, which means I learned how to entertain myself very early on in life. However, there’s only so many times you can listen to the boygenius album on repeat or rewatch “The White Lotus” before you start to get bored. It’s natural. You don’t necessarily feel like being social or leaving the house, even, but you’re also mind-numbingly restless and in dire need of some entertainment. Hey, it happens.
8. You feel really accomplished for getting through all those books/TV shows/etc.
One of the best things about spending a lot of time alone is that you actually can get a fair bit done if you play your cards right. For instance, maybe you use your time to learn a new language (I’m slowly working my way through a Japanese course, I’ll have you know!) or to pick up a new skill like learning how to cook or sew. Maybe you just read a lot to expand your worldview. All of these things are pretty awesome, so it’s no wonder you want to give yourself a pat on the back. It’s well-deserved!
9. You start feeling a bit lonely.
Ah, the downside. No matter how much you enjoy your own company and relish not having to hear other people breathing (shout out to Linda Evangelista!), it does get a bit lonely sometimes when you spend a lot of time alone. You find yourself feeling torn between wanting companionship — a basic human need, obviously — and feeling completely self-sufficient and almost stubbornly insistent on rolling solo. Spoiler alert: there’s a happy medium!!
10. You grow comfortable in your own skin.
©iStock/Mikolette
This is perhaps the biggest gift of all that alone time. The more time and energy you invest in getting to know yourself, the more you see just how great of a person you are. You can’t run and hide from yourself when there’s no one else to distract you, so you not only learn to accept your flaws, you love yourself for them because they make you who you are. See? It’s not all bad!
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