Breakups are already tough, but toxic people can make them so much more challenging and stressful than they need to be. You assumed the emotional rollercoaster was over, but now they’re trying to get you back on the ride. Here are the things they might try to pull to get you back where they want you.
1. They Gaslight You.
It’s common for toxic people to try to make you feel crazy. They love to undermine your feelings while simultaneously refusing to take responsibility for their own actions. In fact, they tell you that you’re wrong even when you have proof that you’re right. Yep, they’re gaslighting you. You shouldn’t let them mess with your head — make a clean break and get rid of them for good.
2. They Give You The Silent Treatment.
You might have thought that you and your ex could part ways amicably, but that’s not possible with a toxic person. You just want to have a final conversation to end things on good terms, but they give you the silent treatment when you try to talk things through and have an open dialogue. They’re doing this to punish you and it’s really not fair.
3. They Blame You For Everything.
You know that neither of you was perfect and you both made mistakes, but your ex might be trying to blame you for everything. This is their way of turning the situation around, making you seem like the bad guy. Try to assert your feelings, but don’t take on their guilt. (By the way, if you’re sick of ending up in relationships with toxic people and want to change your love life for good, our sister site, Sweetn, is for you. They’ve got some game-changing tips, tricks, and advice you’ll want to read.)
4. They Bring Other People Into The Situation.
If you and your ex had mutual friends, they might start treating you badly, leaving you out, or standing up for your ex. That’s because your ex is turning your friend against you so that you feel isolated and outnumbered. While it might make you doubt your decision to end things, it’s actually just proof that you made the right decision.
5. They’re Emotionally Unpredictable.
Many toxic people struggle to deal with their emotions and don’t know how to regular them, especially if they feel confronted. When you break up with someone like this, you might find that they either become eerily calm or lose their temper. It’s probably best to break up with them in a public space if you’re scared of how emotionally volatile they are.
6. They Find Reasons To Text.
It’s been days or even weeks since your breakup and you suddenly hear from your ex. They don’t have anything worthwhile to say. Instead, they just bombard you with stupid messages, like asking you if you remember the sushi restaurant you used to go to or where the remote control is for the ceiling fan. It’s clearly just a way for them to stay on your radar.
7. They Make You Feel Responsible For Their Feelings.
Whether they’re angry/sad/frustrated, they act like you have to sort out their emotions because it’s you who caused them to feel this way, after all. In extreme cases, they might threaten to take their lives because of how you treated them. This is extreme emotional manipulation and even abuse, and you don’t have to put up with it.
8. They Cross Your Boundaries.
Toxic people are selfish and don’t care about other people’s boundaries. After a breakup, they might show up at your house at night or text you even after you’ve politely told them you’d rather not communicate. Make sure you stick to your boundaries so you don’t give them mixed messages. If you give an inch, they’ll take a yard!
9. They Threaten You If You Don’t Take Them Back.
Toxic people want you to do what they want. So, now that you’re asserting yourself, it’s a problem for them. Your ex might threaten to turn everyone against you if you don’t take them back, or they might block you on all social media platforms. Whatever they can find to hurt you, they’ll use because they’re at a disadvantage and want power.
10. They Play The Victim.
Toxic people love playing the victim in every situation. They want everyone’s sympathy and can’t see that they’ve done anything wrong. They’re pretty delusional at times. They’re happy to complain to everyone about how they’ve been done wrong, but the sad thing is that when they don’t get the response they’re after, their self-pity could turn into rage.
11. They Try To One-Up You.
When you end things, you might see your ex looking happy as can be, posting smiley snaps on social media of themselves with other people or new partners. They’re trying to make you feel bad or make you regret your decision of leaving them by faking their happiness without you.
12. They Won’t Accept “No.”
Since toxic people don’t respect boundaries, they might struggle to accept that you’re cutting them out of your life. It can be stressful, as they try to find ways to get in touch with you even though you keep doing everything you can to get away from them. They might try to force you to speak to them despite knowing you don’t want to because even negative communication gives them an endorphin kick.
13. They Leave Conversations Hanging.
If you’ve broken up with a toxic person and they’re asking you for more clarification or closure, you might feel like you owe them a conversation. But then, halfway into the chat, as soon as you say something they don’t like, they hang up or stop texting and go offline. What gives? They want to try to exert control over you in whatever small and childish ways they can.
14. They Act Like Nothing Happened.
©iStock/svetikd
To throw you off, after disappearing from your life, the toxic person might reappear days or weeks later acting as though nothing happened. They might text you to see how you’re doing, as though you’re good friends or still together. They’re hoping to get a response from you that will stroke their ego and make them feel good again.
15. They Act Like They Have Feelings For You.
Even weirder is when your toxic ex tries to act like they’re still into you. They might go overboard complimenting you or “like” all your social media posts to make you think that they’re a changed person, but don’t fall for it. They want to get you back where you were — with them in control. When that happens, they’ll just reveal their toxic nature all over again!
Enjoy this piece? Give it a like and follow Bolde on MSN for more!
