I Told A Guy I Was Leaving The Country Because He Wouldn’t Take The Hint That I Wasn’t Interested

I had really liked the guy and had given him signs that I was interested in him. However, as time went on, I changed my mind and realized that we weren’t really compatible and I wasn’t feeling it. Hey, it happens! However, he just completely refused to take the hint that I wasn’t interested, to the point that I had to tell him I was leaving the country to get rid of him!

  1. He seemed great at first. I met him and enjoyed his company… until I got to know him better. Then I realized he was actually quite annoying. He’d always nitpick to try to find things to make me feel bad about. He couldn’t handle someone challenging his opinions. Ugh, no thank you. This wasn’t the type of person I wanted to date.
  2. He moved in for the kiss and I bolted. It was the end of our third date and he walked me to the car. I knew what was about to happen and I was right: he tried to move in for a kiss. I dodged him, turning my face away. Awkward! I just didn’t want to kiss him and he looked super-hurt.
  3. I told him it wasn’t going to work with us. I told him right away that it wasn’t a good idea for us to kiss or date. I just wasn’t interested in him in that way even though we’d had a great time on our previous dates.
  4. He couldn’t (or simply wouldn’t) accept it. We stood there for about 20 minutes while he kept asking me if I was sure and if I’d lied about being interested because he was sure I was by my body language. What the hell? I knew he deserved closure, so I told him I’d enjoyed getting to know him but the more time we spent together, the more I realized we weren’t a good fit.
  5. He was hurt but he finally let it go. I can’t tell you the relief I felt at driving out of that mall parking lot, away from that guy. I was glad that I’d told him face to face that we weren’t going to see each other again. It would make it so much easier now because I wouldn’t feel awkward about receiving texts or date invites from other guys. It felt so good to be honest with the guy! We could go our separate ways, no harm done.
  6. .. Or so i thought. He wasn’t going to let me go that easily, apparently, and a few days later, he texted me. “Hello, beautiful. How was your day?” Dread filled me. I didn’t like the flirtatious tone of his message. I hoped he was just being friendly, but did I even want to be friendly with this guy? I wanted a clean break!
  7. I tried to play it cool. I told him I was good but really busy and I called him “friend” in the message to drive home that I didn’t see him in a romantic way. Could he really think I did, though, considering how we’d ended things?
  8. He wouldn’t stop. He kept sending me messages to check in throughout the day. He invited me out again. He said he was missing me. No, this wasn’t platonic. This guy was trying to persuade me to date him. No means no, dude!
  9. I told him enough was enough. I didn’t want to waste my time or make him think I was leading him on, so I told him that I didn’t like the messages and felt like he was trying to date me again. He said he couldn’t help it because he really liked me. I told him I didn’t see him in a romantic way yet again, but he didn’t seem to get it.
  10. He changed tactics. Instead of being romantic in his messages, he told me he just wanted to “hang out.” Ugh, no way was I going to meet up with this guy. But what the hell was I supposed to do if he just didn’t get the hint?
  11. A friend gave me an idea. She said that this guy clearly didn’t want to hear the truth, so I had to try to get out of the situation in a different way. She told me that a strategy that worked for her in the past was to tell the guy who was chasing her that she was leaving the country.
  12. It was a genius idea! Apparently, it was a good way to get the message across that the guy should stop chasing her because he realized that things couldn’t work if they were on different continents. Funnily enough, my friend said, it put the guys off. They chose not to chase her anymore because they saw they couldn’t get what they wanted. Best of all, it was a way to keep things friendly without getting hostile.
  13. This guy was hounding me so I took my friend’s advice. I waited a few days and then told the guy that I was leaving the country and I wasn’t sure when I was coming back. A sudden job opportunity had come my way, I said. Yeah, it was a lie, but I had reached my wit’s end with this guy.
  14. He bought it. Thankfully, he backed off for good. What a relief. I felt a bit guilty to lie to him, but honestly, what are you supposed to do with a person who just doesn’t get the hint even when you’ve been honest with them? I’m not the type to become nasty to the person, so there aren’t many other options. I just wanted to move on with my life.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.