Everyone’s always going on about how we should “practice gratitude” in life, and while I agree that it’s good to be grateful for all the good things you have in life, it’s not exactly the game-changer people claim it is. In fact, sometimes it turns into toxic positivity and doesn’t make you feel all that great. Here’s why having a gratitude practice doesn’t actually do much for you.
1. It ends up feeling forced and inauthentic.
Sometimes practicing gratitude can feel like you’re just going through the motions. If you’re not really feeling thankful but try to force it, you’re being fake and it’s kinda pointless. You’re saying thanks because you feel like you have to, not because you actually mean it. No wonder it does absolutely nothing to lift your spirits. Sometimes you just don’t feel grateful for much, especially when times are extra tough. That’s okay — pretending otherwise is a fool’s errand.
2. You might end up ignoring your actual problems.
If you’re going through tough times, being told to just be grateful for what you have can feel dismissive. Obviously, putting things in perspective is really important, but pretending like nothing is wrong and life is grand when it’s actually pretty crappy isn’t going to help anything. Instead of actively seeking solutions to problems you have, you end up glossing over them and absolutely nothing gets done. That’s not exactly mood-boosting.
3. Toxic positivity is ridiculously draining.
People love to pretend that simply thinking positive will magically erase any stress, anxiety, depression, or other negative feelings you have and make the world a wonderful rainbowland of fun. That doesn’t work. Being pushed to be positive when life sucks or you’re feeling anything but sunny is really not helpful in any way. You’re allowed to be upset, angry, or just down in the dumps sometimes. That’s called being human. Forcing yourself to be “grateful” ends up doing more harm than good.
4. It creates unrealistic expectations.
Here’s the thing: If ever guru and life coach out there advises setting up a gratitude practice in order to feel better about yourself and your life and it doesn’t work for you, you can end up feeling like you’re doing it wrong or are in some way deficient when you realize you feel just as bad as (if not worse than) you did before. The expectation of something as simple as mindfulness being a game-changer can be a serious downer when it doesn’t pan out. No thanks! (BTW, if you struggle with unrealistic expectations, especially when it comes to dating and relationships, you should check out our sister site, Sweetn. They have some great tips on how to bring yourself back down to earth and reshape your love life for the better. They’re over here, if you’re curious!)
5. You end up comparing yourself to other people.
People love to share every nitty-gritty detail of their lives on social media, and they’re big on showcasing how much they love “practicing gratitude” for the incredible gifts they have — expensive cars, vacations, clothes, houses, you name it. When you realize that what you have to be grateful for isn’t quite as fancy, it can start to feel a bit soul-destroying. Doesn’t that kinda negate the purpose?
6. It ends up feeling like a chore.
If you’re doing gratitude exercises because you feel like you have to, it can start to feel like another chore on your to-do list. It’s like when you were a kid and had to write thank-you notes for every birthday gift you got. When it turns into just another task, it loses its meaning and you don’t get any benefits from it. You’re better off skipping the practice until you find you’re in a better headspace and actually naturally feel grateful for something.
7. It kinda ignores the fact that there might be other stuff going on.
Practicing gratitude is great, but it’s not a cure-all. If you’re going through deeper issues like anxiety, depression, or other personal struggles, just being thankful on the surface won’t fix them. It might cover things up from the outside, but it doesn’t actually fix what’s happening within. Sure, you can be grateful for your therapist or your psychologist, but simply trying to talk yourself out of mental health issues is not going to work.
8. It makes you feel guilty in a lot of ways.
Sometimes when you try to practice gratitude and can’t seem to feel it, you might end up feeling guilty. You might think, “I have so much to be grateful for, why can’t I just be happy?” This guilt can make you feel worse, not better. You end up getting caught in a weird cycle of not feeling grateful and then feeling bad for not feeling grateful and then feeling ungrateful… you get the picture. It won’t lift your spirits, that’s for sure.
9. You miss out on authentic experiences.
If you’re too focused on finding things to be grateful for, you might miss out on living in the moment and experiencing things authentically. It’s like you’re constantly searching for the next thing to add to your gratitude list, instead of just experiencing life as it happens. You have to be present in the moment and just let things happen as they will. Being too caught up in your head takes you out of the moment and ends up making you feel isolated and alone.
10. You end up feeling like you’re not allowed to complain.
People who advocate practicing gratitude make you feel like you’re never allowed to NOT be g grateful. It’s like there’s an unwritten rule that you always have to be thankful and positive, which isn’t realistic. It’s healthy to vent and express your unhappiness sometimes. It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful; it just means you’re expressing your feelings, and that’s totally okay. It makes your actual gratitude much more meaningful.
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