Trying to force a relationship to work that isn’t working is exhausting and ultimately kind of pointless. There are a whole host of signs that this is happening, indicating that your relationship is more problematic than you knew. Here are 10 of them.
You have to justify the relationship to loved ones. Your friends and family see what you refuse to see: that the relationship is just bad news. It isn’t good for you. Instead of recognizing this, you explain to your loved ones that everything’s actually fine and they don’t know the whole story. This may be true, but the reality is that they’re probably right. Having to explain the relationship is a regular occurrence. In this case, it isn’t a nosy family member or friend at fault, it’s genuinely a messy situation.
You regularly feel like you’re walking on eggshells. Your partner is very nitpicky. It seems you’re always in trouble for something or another. You rarely know what the next “issue” is going to be, so you’re on thin ice and it feels like your partner can make you fall through at any time. This isn’t a way to live and it’s definitely an indicator that it’s about time for you two to split.
You just feel totally exhausted. You know the exhaustion isn’t just about long days at work. Rather, it’s about the fact that you and your partner are working double time to try to hold the relationship together. You’re pooped. You feel like you’re dragging around with little energy. You may not even have the energy to fight with your partner! You’re too tired to even break up.
You’re bothered by almost everything they say. When your partner talks, it’s like nails on a chalkboard. You hate listening to them. This is a bad sign that you probably shouldn’t be together. When you’re wincing at everything your partner says, you’re likely trying too hard to make it work. You shouldn’t be embarrassed to be seen with them in public for fear they’ll say something stupid.
You have some blatant incompatibilities. You want kids and they don’t or you want to be monogamous and they’ve said they only want to be poly. These are obvious incompatibilities, yet you’re just ignoring them to keep the relationship going. They’re guaranteed to bite you in the butt at some point. You can’t keep your head in the sand forever.
You overanalyze everything they do. It’s to the point where you’re not even enjoying anything that’s happening in your relationship because you’re overanalyzing their every move. You’re assuming that they’re going to leave you soon or you’re feeling like they’re cheating on you. The problem is that your thoughts aren’t grounded in reality, they’re just fear-based over-analyzations.
You keep finding yourself compromising. Sure, relationships are about compromise, but not all the damn time. You shouldn’t be constantly compromising what you want and value because your partner wants you to change. This is a bad sign that the relationship is actually toxic. You shouldn’t be staying in all the time when you really like to go out. Your partner should be compromising too, but it always seems you’re compromising more.
You’re secretly waiting for your partner to change. You know this isn’t possible but you’re waiting anyway. You want your partner to change and you think that if you’re just patient and loving enough, maybe they will. Newsflash: this is trying too hard to make your relationship work. You shouldn’t be dealing with that quirk of your partner’s if it makes you absolutely miserable. People don’t change unless they want to.
You’ve stopped talking about the future at all. Maybe things are so lackluster or you’re fighting all of the time. Either way, there’s been no talk of the future for a while. You just sort of miserably live in the now and assume that you’re stuck together or that the relationship will blow up soon enough.
You feel like you’re going against your gut. This is probably the worst sign there is. When your intuition is clearly telling you that this person shouldn’t be your partner, you should listen. Instead, you’re trying to jam a square peg into a round hole when your gut really knows what’s best for you. You can feel that gnawing feeling inside that’s making it clear to you that you aren’t listening. Listen for once.
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