Healthy long-term relationships don’t just grow on trees — they’re a work in progress and they all have to start somewhere, usually with a first date, a second one, and so on. Sounds like a pain in the ass, right? It’s supposed to be fun but it’s really the exact opposite when you just want to be in a relationship already. Here’s what happens when you wish you could skip the dating part and be someone’s girlfriend, like, yesterday.
You make online dating profiles, then forget they exist. You start out with good intentions of putting yourself out there and doing the online dating thing like everyone else. But after that first rush of initial messages — which are mostly garbage, anyway — you go back to living the single life as if you never signed up for OKCupid (and Tinder) at all.
You cancel first dates a lot. Logically, you know you have to go on dates if you’re ever going to meet someone you want to be in a relationship with. But the fact remains that you despise going on dates, especially first dates, so if an excuse to cancel one exists, you’ve used it.
You have extreme first date anxiety. Going on a date isn’t your idea of a good time. If you don’t cancel, you’ll spend the few hours leading up to it being so nervous, you can barely focus on anything else. Then when you’re actually on the date, you’re just counting the seconds until you can go home and forget it happened at all.
You try to rush things. So you’ve gotten the first and second dates out of the way and everything seems good. What are you waiting for? Let’s make it official already! Unfortunately, it doesn’t really work that way. That’s probably a good thing, though, because realistically, a couple dates don’t mean that you know a guy well enough to start calling him your boyfriend.
You have no chill when you like someone. It’s not as if a guy you actually see yourself getting serious with comes around every day, so when one does, you aren’t very good at hiding it. You probably over-text, want to hang out too much, and start talking about the future too seriously, therefore scaring your potential love interest away.
You’re way too tempted to date people you’ve already dated. Since the getting-to-know-you phase of dating is incredibly tedious for you, it seems a lot more efficient to just rekindle a past relationship than start from scratch. Unfortunately, that means you’re just dating your own leftovers, and that’s not as foolproof as you’d like to think.
You ignore red flags. Once you’ve put in a decent amount of work to get a relationship going, you really don’t want to throw it all away because of a couple so-called “red flags.” So what if he still talks to his ex and gets his mom to do his laundry? Everyone has flaws, right? The truth is, you’ll put up with just about anything to avoid going back to square one.
If you’re dating, you’re doing it with a purpose. A lot of us will casually date, not really looking for anything specific just because it’s something to do. But if you’re making the effort to meet a guy for drinks, you’re going to have expectations. If you didn’t want to find something serious, you wouldn’t bother dating at all.
You get easily discouraged. The main reason you hate dating is because going on dates that lead nowhere seems like a huge waste of time. If you have a bad first date, you aren’t the type to eagerly set up another one with someone else– instead, you’d rather stay home and marathon the Gilmore Girls reboot for the third time. Because even that feels more productive.
You don’t put in the effort. You might whine to your friends that you hate being single and why can’t you just find a great guy and fall in love, already? They’re constantly reminding you that if you want to meet someone, you have to put yourself out there. Life isn’t a romantic comedy and the perfect guy isn’t going to appear in front of you like magic.
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