It’s hard to believe there was life before social media, but these days, Instagram, Facebook, and Snapchat really showcase the best and worst of our generation. It can incredibly difficult to cut ties when you’ve recently gotten out of a relationship, but if you can find the strength, it makes healing and moving on that much easier. Here’s why blocking your ex on social media is the best thing you can do for yourself.
If you got dumped, it gives you a chance to take the power back. When the rug is ripped from under you with a surprise breakup, it’s normal to feel helpless. He might have made the decision without you and cut things off without explanation and it felt like nothing you said or did would make a difference. Blocking him is a reminder that you’re still in control and you’re going to do what’s best for you.
If you did the dumping, you can close the door. Staying friends on Facebook or following each other on Twitter may seem harmless now, but what happens when he desperately tries to tell you you’ve made a mistake? Do yourself a favor and take that option off the table up front by making clear that your decision to end things is final.
No good will come from seeing what he’s up to. It’s natural to be curious about what he’s doing and who he’s with every second, especially if you dated for a while. You might think it will help to keep tabs on him, but deep down you know it won’t change anything. Nine times out of 10 it’s going to upset you or piss you off, neither of which are helpful for you moving forward.
He can’t see what you’re up to. Whether you want to rub in his face how happy you are without him or make him feel guilty because you’re chilling on rock bottom, part of you probably wishes he could see exactly how you’re doing. Still, he lost his right to be informed about your life when the relationship ended. Don’t give him something he clearly doesn’t deserve.
You don’t have to worry about passive-aggressive comments. How embarrassing (not to mention infuriating) would it be to post a cute picture of a new outfit, a night out with the girls or even a new guy and have your ex post something incredibly awkward just to get a rise out of you? You’re not in middle school anymore, so be proactive and prevent an awful series of retweets from ruining your mood.
It’s easier than telling people you broke up. It may seem immature to make Facebook announce to the entire world that you’re suddenly single, but it can be super overwhelming to tell all your family and friends. Changing your relationship status on your profile and deleting him from your photos are much easier ways of spreading the news.
Why you should consider blocking your ex on social media
You won’t do something stupid when you’re drunk. No matter how good you are about keeping your distance on social media, it’s much harder to refrain from messages, comments and likes when you’re five shots deep at the bar. Removing him from your friends list makes it almost impossible to do something you’ll regret in the morning.
You won’t do something stupid when you’re lonely. Even when you’re sober, there are bound to be a few nights where you wonder what could have been and feel the itch to reach out. The truth is, you’ll probably wish you hadn’t. Don’t even put yourself in that position.
He won’t know you’ve moved on. It doesn’t matter if he ended it or not—he’s going to have all sorts of emotions when he sees you with another guy. It’s none of his business who you’re getting to know, and you don’t want to give him ammunition to contact you or the chance to size himself up to your new fling.
You won’t know he’s moved on. Even if you’re not the jealous type, the first time you see him all over another girl, it’s going to feel like a sucker punch to the gut. You’ll analyze everything about her, compare yourself until you’re sick, and want to tell her all the crazy things he did. Spare yourself the agony by making sure you don’t see it in the first place.
Out of sight, out of mind. It’s a lot easier to heal when you don’t have to read his name on your newsfeed each time you scroll through your phone. Of course you’ll think about him every now and then, but it’s easier to forget what you went through when you aren’t seeing his face every five minutes.
You don’t need to filter anything. When you know he can see everything you post, it’s hard to be your authentic self because he’ll read into everything. With him blocked, you can say and do exactly what you want without worrying about how he’ll react.
Deciding to be friends again won’t be spur of the moment. There may come a time when, despite your past, you’re ready to be friends with your ex. If you’ve blocked him on social media, you’ll have to make the conscious decision to undo the action in order to re-engage.
You can live your life. At the end of the day, breakups are about finding out who you are without that person and reinventing who you want to be moving forward. It will be hard at first, but removing him from social media keeps him out of the picture, and gives you the only chance to finally do your thing.
Struggling with blocking your ex? Here’s how to find the strength to follow through
Remember the bad times. Things obviously weren’t working out with your ex or else you’d still be together. Chances are, he did some pretty crappy things that made you feel terrible about yourself and fortunate to no longer be with him. These are the times you need to focus on when thinking about blocking your ex on social media. The more you realize how miserable he made you, the easier it will be to cut ties.
Think about the future. He’s not in your life anymore and while that may not entirely feel like a good thing thus far, I promise you it is. One of the best ways to break the thread tying you to your ex is by picturing your future. Where do you want to go, what do you want to do, who do you want to be? You have so much potential. The clearer you can picture that future, the less you’ll insist on holding onto things that don’t help you get there.
Practice self-care and self-love. It sounds corny and pretty woo-woo, but it works. After a relationship, we’re often left depressed, demoralized, and just generally feeling like crap. The only way to rebound is by looking after yourself. Learn to self-soothe and then learn how to pick yourself up and big yourself up. Solidify a stronghold on your self-worth and don’t let it go. Once you do, blocking your ex on social media will seem like a non-issue.
Start small. Maybe you’re not ready to cut 100% of your ties immediately, and that’s fine. Any step, no matter how small, is a good one. Maybe you start by unfollowing him. He’s not completely blocked out of your life, but you’re also not bombarded with constant reminders of him down your timeline, which is always a good thing. In a couple of weeks, escalate things by blocking a few of his accounts, if not all of them.
Rip the band-aid off. You could always follow the path of least resistance and just block and delete him immediately on everything. It’ll hurt like hell and you’ll question whether or not you’re doing the right thing a million times, but once it’s done, it’s done. The sooner you make this monumental step, the sooner you’ll be over him entirely. Believe me, your future self will thank you.
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