40 Reasons Love & Relationships Are Overrated

40 Reasons Love & Relationships Are Overrated

Love makes the world go ’round, but sometimes it’s more trouble than it’s worth. While finding your person can bring lots of happiness to your life, love and relationships are also kind of overrated when it comes down to it. No matter how much you think being coupled up is the be-all, end-all in life, here’s why it’s definitely not.

1. Love is seen as a magical cure, but it’s not.

man giving woman advice

If you’ve watched too many romcoms, you might get the idea that love is a magical cure for everything in life. By just loving and being loved, your life will be perfect. That’s definitely not the case. Your life isn’t going to become some living fairytale just because you’re coupled up, sorry.

2. Finding love is filled with unnecessary pressure.

Society is so hardwired into thinking that you need love to be happy, and this can make you feel stressed to find the perfect person for you. You can live a pretty amazing life all on your own, thanks.

3. Love isn’t always a fairytale.

Falling in love can make you feel like you’re living a fairytale, and it might be that way during the honeymoon period, but it’s not always going to be that way. Realistically, having love in your life will also bring you bad days. It’s not all sunshine and roses.

4. Being in a relationship prevents you from having time to yourself.

Relationships are about progressions, so you probably want to live with your partner and spend lots of time together. Of course, this has a downside: it prevents you from having much time to yourself to do whatever you want.

5. Relationships and love can make you push aside your loved ones.

Even if your partner supports you having a social life outside of the relationship, research shows that you’re bound to lose an average of two friends when you’re in a relationship. That sucks!

6. You might neglect your career aspirations.

Your work might also suffer when you get into a relationship or get married. It makes sense that this would happen — with more obligations in your life, you’ll likely dedicate less time to your professional goals.

7. You might have to choose between your relationship and dreams.

Your relationship might be awesome, but who says it won’t prevent you from chasing your dreams? With a partner on board, you can’t easily move to another country or quit your job to hunt down your ideal life. You have another person to consider, so flying by the seat of your pants just won’t work.

8. You’re pressured to hit the relationship milestones.

Although society might quieten down when you get into a relationship, new pressure will be piled on! Soon, you’ll be asked when you’ll get married and have kids… it never ends!

9. You might end up broken up or divorced.

Sure, it sounds cynical, but it’s realistic: many relationships end. In fact, divorce stats show that 42% of people between the ages of 45 and 54 have been divorced. So, think of all the time you’ll have dedicated to the relationship only to end up with nothing.

10. You don’t really need romantic love.

Romantic love is always hyped up as being the best kind of love, but is it really? There are so many other types of love to celebrate, such as platonic love and family love. Oh, and what about self-love?

11. Love isn’t oxygen — you can survive happily without it.

While we’re made to believe that we need love to be happy and fulfilled, this is BS. We need oxygen to survive, not love. You might want love, but you don’t need it.

12. The honeymoon phase always ends.

When you get into a relationship, it can be dizzying and fun, and you hope it’ll last forever. The honeymoon phase will end, which is fine because it brings greater stability. But, when you look back, those days at the start will always be the most exciting.

13. Relationships require a lot of compromise.

You can’t have a successful relationship without compromise. Even if you’re not giving up on your deal breakers and non-negotiables, you’ll still sometimes feel like you’re not in the mood to give something up — and you wouldn’t have to if you were single.

14. You can’t pack up and jet to somewhere else.

You might not realize how much freedom you have when you’re single. You can literally pack up your bags and go somewhere without having to tell anyone about your plans. If you want an adult, committed relationship, you can’t do that to your partner.

15. Relationships can derail your life plans.

Although this isn’t always the case, relationships can change where you’re headed in life. Maybe you never imagined you’d live in a different state or country, for instance, but that’s what happened. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but bye-bye dreams you had when you were single.

16. You could lose yourself.

It’s common to lose yourself to relationships, and it makes sense why it happens so often. Relationships can be so consuming that you could end up neglecting your needs and dreams. You might not even realize that it’s happening until it’s too late.

17. You can’t do whatever you want in your living space.

When you move in with a partner, you can’t completely control your living space. You have to take their decor and lifestyle into account. If your styles clash, this can be a real struggle!

18. You feel pressure to have labels.

couple chatting cafe

You might think you need relationship labels, like “girlfriend” or “husband.” But again, it’s societal pressure that you must have certain relationship labels and fit certain relationship roles. As a single person, you can fit any role you want — and change it tomorrow!

19. You have to share your decisions.

In a supportive relationship, you and your partner have to share your lives. You can’t make a big decision without talking to them about it, which can make you feel like you’re not as independent as you want to be.

20. You’ll end up taking on other people’s drama.

Relationship problems. Angry caucasian couple fighting and having a discussion while on a date in the park

There will be days when even the most stable person in the world will have drama. As their partner, you’ll have to help them through it even though you’ve got your own issues to deal with.

21. You’ll have to listen to them (and they’ll bore you).

stressed out guy sitting at computer

You might have amazing conversations with your partner, but they’re not always going to be fun and interesting. They might be downright boring, but you’ll have to suck it up so you don’t offend them.

22. Everyone has faults, and you’ll have to deal with them.

Young man and woman quarreling at home

No matter how picky you are when dating, the person you end up with will have flaws. Sometimes these can be tough to deal with, even if they’re not deal breakers. There will be days when your partner will annoy you and you can’t just walk away.

23. You can’t save as much money.

two friends chatting on the sofa

Financial security is a huge plus of being single. All the money you save goes to your interests or to help your friends when they’re in a bind. When you’re in a relationship, you might not always be able to do this.

24. You don’t have as much energy for other things in your life.

Argument between disagreeing couple

Being in a serious relationship means that a lot of energy has to go into your relationship and its demands. This means you won’t be able to spend as much of your energy on other activities that make you happy.

25. You don’t get the benefits of casual relationships (and no, not just sex).

When you’re in a serious relationship, you can’t spend a lot of time with other people. For example, you can’t engage in casual or low-key relationships that can teach you about life and expose you to different experiences.

26. You risk becoming unhealthy.

Young woman talking with her upset husband while sitting together in their bedroom at home

Some research has found that people who stay single tend to be healthier than their married counterparts. One study found that single people tend to have more time to exercise, which keeps them healthier and fitter.

27. You don’t need anyone to complete you.

Although you might think that finding The One means you’ll be complete, this is BS. No one can ever complete you — you’re already complete as a single person!

28. You don’t need love to make you feel worthy.

sporty woman going for a run

There’s this unwritten rule that you’re worthier when you’re in a relationship than when you’re single, but how crazy is that? You are the only person responsible for your self-worth.

29. Being single gives you more work opportunities.

If you’re climbing up the corporate ladder, it could benefit you to remain single instead of chasing love. If you don’t have to worry about your relationship commitments, you can put more energy and effort into your work.

30. Being single enables greater self-sufficiency.

If you’re flying solo, you’ll learn how to take care of yourself. Interestingly, research has found that self-sufficient singles are less likely to feel negative. By comparison, being self-sufficient in marriage can produce negative feelings, such as resentment when your partner’s not helping.

31. You can be coupled up and depressed.

It’s easy to think that having a partner means you’ll increase your happiness, but that’s not necessarily true. If you’re unhappy, you could be sad even though someone’s sitting beside you — and that can make you feel trapped.

32. Love is not enough.

The sad truth is, even if you and your partner love each other, love alone isn’t enough to keep you happy or together. Relationships and marriage take lots of hard work on a daily basis, and they can fail even if you do the work.

33. They bring more obligations into your life.

It’s awesome that you’ll not only bring your partner into your life, but also their parents, siblings, and other loved ones. But, this means you’ll have more obligations and commitments that you can’t get out of as easily as when you were single.

34. Sooner or later, intimacy changes.

When your bedroom life is stale as a single person, you can find someone else who interests you. However, when you’re in a relationship or marriage, you have to work hard to get the spice back. The cool thing, though, is that you can strengthen different types of intimacy.

35. There are things you can’t do anymore.

Some of your freedoms get taken away or are restricted when you’re in a long-term relationship. For example, you can’t spend tons of time with your single friends or flirt with other people. While that might not be a big deal, you and your partner have to respect each other’s boundaries and deal-breakers, which isn’t always easy.

36. Having romantic love doesn’t make you more successful.

It’s a total myth that you’re a more successful or stable person if you’re in love. It just means you found love, which anyone can find. It’s time we stopped equating love and marriage with success or achievements.

37. You can’t focus as much on your self-growth.

Although you can and should keep growing and learning when you’re in a relationship, you might not be able to spend as much time on your self-development as you did when you were single and could explore new activities, courses, and learning opportunities whenever you liked.

38. Love won’t solve your problems.

woman alone at bar disappointed

It’s a myth to think that finding love means you’ll solve the problems you had when you were single, such as unhappiness or a lack of motivation. They’ll still be there when you get into a relationship, so you’ve got to put in the work.

39. Your insecurities won’t go away when you’re in love.

Although the person who loves you might see you as perfect (for them), thinking that being accepted by your partner will remove your insecurities is ridiculous. It’s also dangerous to depend on your partner so much for approval.

40. Love won’t make your life more interesting.

Okay, sure, being in a relationship brings a new person into your life, with different views, goals, and hobbies. This could expose you to new experiences, but honestly? If you’re bored with your life now, you’re going to feel the same thing when you’re in a relationship. So, do the work on yourself now – happiness depends on you.

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Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.