Recently, I began to wonder why I have such bad luck in dating and started to seriously consider that I was just one of those “undateable” people. Then I realized that it was all because of my tendency to be picky with the guys I date and my unwillingness to settle, which isn’t a bad thing.
If I had to choose between being alone or setting, I’d choose being alone.
The thought of being stuck with someone I’m not totally in love with makes me way more anxious than thinking about spending the rest of my life alone. People latch onto each other way too easily because they’re desperate not to be single and I don’t get that. I feel like if you’re alone, at least you’ll never get bored of yourself.
If you can’t be picky about who you date, what can you be picky about?
People who are picky about what they eat are kind of childish, but being picky about the person you sleep with and maybe even eventually marry is totally fair in my books. I think I’d regret not giving my life partner a second thought. Choosing someone you’re going to be with for the rest of your life is a huge decision, so excuse me for being a little bit selective about it.
I’m OK with waiting until my perfect person arrives.
I’ve seen the rom-coms and I’ve read the cutesy Instagram posts from couples who have been together for an eternity. I want all of that and I’m willing to wait for it. What that means is that I’m actually perfectly fine waiting for my knight in shining armor to arrive because setting with the court jester is not an option.
It’s easy to be tempted to stay with someone just because.
After I’ve been in a relationship with someone for several months, I begin to cook up a million reasons why I should stay with them. “Oh, they have a good job”or “They buy me things.” If I don’t live by my mantra of “thou shall not settle,” I would get stuck with a guy who only kinda sorta fulfills my needs. Honestly, what’s the point of being in a relationship with someone like that?
To me, the possibility of finding true love is worth the risk of never finding it.
I’m a hardcore romantic, so yeah, I believe in true love. I believe in soulmates; I believe that there’s one special person out there for everyone and I’m OK with waiting for my special someone to come into my life. If I have to spend my whole life waiting, so be it. I’ll meet them in heaven.
I feel like a part of me is being picky for my personal safety.
I can’t help think that there’s some biological reason that I’m as picky as I am. If I didn’t sift through all the guys I date, I could end up with someone who doesn’t treat me well or worse, someone who abuses me. I feel like being picky is good for that reason alone.
I don’t really care about the physical stuff.
It’s not like I have a huge laundry list of all the physical features I need in a guy. I’m actually very forgiving in that area—it’s the personality I care about. At my age, guys are starting to lose their hair, so I’d better not be too picky about appearance.
Contrary to what my friends might think, I’m not taking it too far.
Everyone thinks I’m being too stubborn by holding out for a hero but I honestly feel like I’m doing the right thing here. Yeah, I’m single most of the time, but it’s so much better than settling and shacking up with a guy I’m going to resent a few months or years down the road.
If I settle for someone I kinda like, we might break up and I’ll be single again.
To me, it’s not worth going through the stress and heartache of a breakup just to spend a few months with someone you sorta like. I’d gladly get involved with someone I can see a future with, but it just hurts too much to let someone go for frivolous reasons for both me and him.
I’m not looking for someone who checks off all the boxes, I’m looking for that elusive spark.
I’m picky in the sense that I want someone who makes me feel like I’m in love. I couldn’t care less about what they bring to the table. If there’s natural chemistry there, I’m game. It’s just so hard to come by these days.
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