How He Asks You Out Will Determine Your Relationship Satisfaction Later

How you start your relationship can predict a heck of a lot about how satisfying it will be further down the line. Here’s why the way he asks you out is more important than you might realize.

  1. It tells you if he’s lazy. If a guy asks you out in a lazy way, like by saying you should hang out and then not really bothering to plan your date, he’s not really putting in much effort to impress you. That points to a guy who’s not going to make much effort as your boyfriend.
  2. It tells you if he’s really interested. A guy who’s got major feels for you and wants to be with you in a real relationship is going to show you that in how he asks you out. He’ll make it clear that he wants to take you out—not “hang out” but go on a proper date. Hanging out isn’t real dating! 
  3. It tells you what he wants. A guy who slides into your DM late at night and asks, “Wanna come over?” is not asking you out on a date or showing genuine interest in you. On the other hand, a guy who texts you to invite you to a dinner with him at your favorite restaurant is clearly interested in something that lasts longer than a night.
  4. It tells you if he’s not as interested as you are. It’s cool to make the first move on a guy, but if you’re the one chasing him and trying to get him to ask you out, that’s a red flag that he’s not going to be the type of boyfriend you need in your life anyway. You don’t want to be the one who always chases him, so don’t give him the impression you’ll be running after him from the start. If you have to chase him, he’s not keen on you.
  5. It tells you if he’ll go the extra mile. It’s not just what a guy says when asking you out that’s important, it’s also the method he uses to ask you out on a date. A guy who shows you that he’s willing to put himself out there by phoning you to invite you on a date is making a real effort. On the other hand, a guy who asks you out by commenting on your Facebook post or profile pic needs to increase his efforts and grow up.
  6. It shows you if he’s going to be an annoying boyfriend. Do you really want to be with someone who says “k” in response to a long text you’ve sent him? Do you really want to deal with a guy who writes in such a way that you never understand what his texts are trying to say? Pay attention to his spelling and grammar as well as how well he gets his message across. It’s going to affect how you two communicate if you do end up dating.
  7. It tells you how much of a priority you’ll be. You want to be with a guy who’s going to make you his number one and nothing less. If he’s asking you out but already making you feel like you’re last on his list by saying that he’s really busy and will have to let you know when he can fit you into his schedule, that’s a red flag.
  8. It shows you if he’s keen to make a good impression. You want a guy to care about what you think of him. Otherwise, you might as well just be acquaintances. A guy who’s keen on dating you should want to ensure that you have an amazing time on your date. So, he won’t invite you to some dodgy pub or club. Location matters!
  9. It shows you if he’s interested in getting to know you. Here’s where location matters again. Going to dance at a noisy club might not be the best way to get to know someone. On the other hand, if he asks you out for dinner or coffee at a quiet restaurant, the guy’s obviously keen on some real getting-to-know-each-other conversation.
  10. It shows you if he respects you. Does he text you at the very last minute to invite you to drinks? Woah. Not only does this make you feel like he’s just looking for a booty call, it also points to a lack of respect. He should know that you can’t just change your life around for him. If he doesn’t get that early on, then he’s not the type of guy you need in your life.
  11. It displays his commitment level. You can tell right away if a guy’s really keen on commitment or not. If he doesn’t mention the word “date” but instead keeps things vague, that’s not a good sign that he’s going to want to be your official and exclusive boyfriend. Likewise, if he invites you to hang out with his mates, that’s not exactly the move of a confident and interested boyfriend-to-be. On the other hand, a guy who invites you out in a specific way and mentions that it’s a definite date, making it clear that he wants to be alone with you instead of in a group, is starting out on the right footing.
Jessica Blake is a writer who loves good books and good men, and realizes how difficult it is to find both.