How To Deal With Dating Someone Who’s Better Looking Than You

If you’re dating someone who’s more attractive than you, it might feel like a bit of an ego boost, but hopefully they’ve got an even more appealing personality. But, real talk here: it’s not always easy to feel like you’re less attractive than your partner. You might feel a lack of confidence or insecure when you’re around others and everyone keeps staring at your partner. Yikes. Here are 10 ways to deal with the situation and not let it cloud your amazing relationship.

1. Embrace Your Charms.

Young couple looking at a smart phone outdoors in the city

Instead of focusing too much on how gorgeous your partner is, stop and take in your positive traits. Everything that makes you unique is something worth celebrating. Maybe you don’t have Hollywood good looks, but you have a memorable face that sets you apart from the crowd and makes you more interesting. Make a list of what you like about yourself and what other people have said is beautiful about you.

2. Remember Beauty Is Subjective.

Not everyone will have the same ideas of what makes someone beautiful. That’s why sometimes the person you think is the hottest thing to walk the planet is given a “meh” rating by your friends. So, don’t get caught up in thinking that the world’s gonna adore your partner – not everyone will think they’re stunning. Similarly, not everyone will think you’re not attractive.

3.  Go Beyond The Physical.

Don’t get caught up in prioritizing physical attractiveness too much ’cause it’s a dead-end. It’ll only take you so far in dating. Think about what’s beneath the surface. What are your amazing personality traits? What about your partner’s? Bear these in mind ’cause they matter much more than how one looks and they’re what will ensure you stay together for longer.

4. Focus On Your Relationship.

couple cuddling on picnic blanket

What other people think about you and your partner really doesn’t matter. The relationship is about you, so it’s not worth damaging it because you feel jealous or insecure. Focus on what your relationship has to offer, what value it brings to your life, and the amazing future you and your partner will have together. Yes, people might look at your partner a lot, which can be upsetting, but it shouldn’t bother you. (BTW, if you need help with anything on this list, our sister site, Sweetn, was made for you. They use science to hack your love life in incredible ways. Check them out here.)

5. Boost Your Self-Confidence.

If you’re feeling low because you feel insecure around your partner when you’re in public together, there are things you can do to improve your self-confidence. Celebrate your achievements, pursue interests that make you feel good, and use positive mantras to remind yourself of why you’re great and worthy. These can help you to boost your self-validation and make you feel happier.

6. Watch Your Inner Critic.

It’s easy for negative self-talk to hog the spotlight, but nip those thoughts in the bud so they don’t get in the way of your relationship. Replace negative thoughts about your appearance with positive ones. Instead of saying, “I look ugly,” tell yourself, “I look beautiful in my own way.” The trick is to focus on what makes you unique. On bad days, avoid the mirror completely – don’t let a bad mood warp how you see yourself.

7. Accentuate Your Attractiveness.

While you don’t want to get too obsessed with how you look, it can be a nice confidence boost to bring to light your most attractive features. Everyone has them, so don’t hide yours from the world. You could also think of how you can improve your looks so you feel pretty, confident, and happy within yourself. Maybe a change of hair color or clothing style can achieve this.

8. Dig Into Your Insecurities.

The issue of your partner being more attractive than you is a trigger for a deeper issue that’s going on within you. So, dig deeper into why you’re feeling insecure. Maybe you never felt beautiful as a child or you’ve always been criticized and it’s messed with your overall confidence. By dealing with these issues, you can get to the bottom of them and eliminate them so you grow from the experience.

9. Don’t Get Insecure About Your Relationship.

Young woman sat on wall alone©iStock/martin-dm

If your partner’s more attractive than you, you might worry that this could cause them to walk away from the relationship. Remind yourself that if the relationship does hit a dead-end, it’s not because of how you look but because of other issues. Deal with your trust issues so you don’t let your insecurities stand in the way of a healthy relationship.

10. Celebrate Your Partner’s Attractiveness.

Be a supportive partner by celebrating your partner’s attractiveness. Although you don’t want to make them feel like they’re just arm candy, feel good about people checking them out when you’re together. This is healthier than allowing their gaze to make you feel moody or insecure, which can make your partner feel weird. Oh, and remember, your partner’s hot but they chose to be with you. That’s also worth feeling good about!

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Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.
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