How To Make Your Crush Fall In Love With You: 25 Tips That Really Work

Obviously, you can’t (and shouldn’t) force a relationship, but when you really have your eyes set on someone, it’s natural to want to do whatever you can to up the chances of them reciprocating your feelings. While your sparkling personality and all the amazing qualities you bring to the table should be enough to sway him in your direction, sometimes you need to go the extra mile to get your crush to fall in love with you.

Only you know what your crush will like and only you can say what you’re comfortable with when it comes to pursuing someone. However, below are a few suggestions on things you can do to get your crush’s attention and make him go head over heels for you. Give them a try — what do you have to lose?

  1. Be genuine. Authenticity is a powerful trait that’s often overlooked. In an era where everyone is trying to put their best, sometimes curated, face forward, showing your true self can be refreshing. Authenticity means sharing your passions, admitting your flaws, laughing at your mistakes, and being consistent in your behavior. It builds trust, as people don’t have to guess who they’re interacting with.
  2. Practice good and active listening skills. Listening is much more than just hearing words. It’s about understanding and interpreting. When your crush speaks, don’t just wait for your turn to talk; genuinely pay attention. Ask follow-up questions. Show empathy. Recognizing and remembering the small details can show that you genuinely care about their feelings and experiences.
  3. Take care of yourself. This isn’t just about physical appearances, though staying groomed is a part of it. Mental and emotional well-being, pursuing hobbies, and fostering personal growth all fall under self-care. When you’re at your best, you can give your best to others, and it shows that you value yourself.
  4. Create fun experiences and memories together. Experiencing events together can foster a unique bond. Whether it’s trying out a new restaurant, visiting a museum, attending a concert, or just going for a walk – shared experiences can give you memories and stories that only the two of you understand. It provides a foundation to reminisce about and build upon.
  5. Don’t be afraid to open up and be vulnerable. While it’s essential to maintain some mystery, sharing personal anecdotes, feelings, and aspirations can deepen a connection. It shows trust and a willingness to let them into your world. Sharing vulnerabilities can be especially potent, as it displays a level of comfort and trust in them.
  6. Respect his boundaries. Everyone has their comfort zone and boundaries, whether they’re emotional, physical, or even digital. It’s crucial to recognize and respect these boundaries. Pushing someone before they’re ready can backfire. True connection happens at a pace that’s comfortable for both.
  7. Give subtle touches (as long as you have his consent). Physical touch can convey a plethora of emotions. A gentle pat on the back, a touch on the arm during a conversation, or offering a comforting hug during trying times can foster closeness. Always ensure that touch is consensual and respectful. Read their body language to ensure they’re comfortable.
  8. Make eye contact. Eyes are often called the windows to the soul for a reason. Maintaining sincere eye contact during conversations can intensify connections. It conveys attention, interest, and presence, making the other person feel truly seen.
  9. Put your kindness on full display. Kindness is universally attractive. Simple gestures like holding the door, showing appreciation, or helping out in small ways can leave a lasting impression. It’s not just about being kind to your crush but to everyone around you. Kindness showcases empathy and a caring nature.
  10. Find common interests and things to relate to one another on. Shared hobbies or passions can give you common ground, a foundation upon which to build your conversations and spend time together. It could be books, music genres, a favorite sport, or even shared goals. Dive into these common interests and explore them together.
  11. Take the initiative. Taking charge can display confidence and genuine interest. Whether it’s asking them to hang out, suggesting a new movie to watch together, or simply initiating a conversation, showing you’re eager can be flattering. It indicates you value the time you spend with them and are willing to make an effort to strengthen the connection.
  12. Stay positive. Optimism and a positive outlook can be infectious. By focusing on the brighter side of situations and cultivating a positive environment around you, you naturally draw people towards you. This doesn’t mean you should mask genuine feelings, but fostering an optimistic perspective can make interactions more enjoyable.
  13. Be supportive, but not overly so. Everyone has aspirations, goals, and fears. Being a pillar of support in their pursuits or offering a listening ear when they’re down can make a significant difference. It shows you care about their well-being and success, fostering deeper emotional connections.
  14. Maintain your independence. While it’s great to share experiences and interests, having your own hobbies, friends, and passions shows depth. It paints a picture of a well-rounded individual who brings unique experiences to the table. Plus, having your own stories to share can make conversations more intriguing.
  15. Show off your sense of humor. Shared laughter is a fantastic bonding experience. Showcasing your sense of humor, whether it’s through jokes, light-hearted banter, or finding humor in everyday situations, can lighten the mood and make interactions more memorable. Just ensure your humor is in good taste and respects boundaries.
  16. Be mysterious. While it’s essential to be open and genuine, maintaining an element of mystery can spark curiosity. This isn’t about being secretive or dishonest but about revealing layers of yourself gradually. It keeps the process of getting to know each other exciting and engaging.
  17. Don’t hold back from engaging in deep conversations. Beyond the everyday pleasantries and routine chatter, delving into profound, meaningful topics can build a unique connection. Discussing dreams, fears, aspirations, and philosophical topics can lead to a deeper understanding of each other’s psyche.
  18. Give him compliments on the things you love about him. Genuine compliments can brighten anyone’s day. Recognizing and vocalizing something you admire about your crush, whether it’s their attire, intellect, or a particular skill, can make them feel seen and appreciated. Just ensure the compliments come from a genuine place.
  19. Stay present and put your damn phone away. In our digital age, distractions are abundant. When spending time with your crush, be genuinely present. Put away the phone, avoid distractions, and be in the moment. Such undivided attention speaks volumes about your interest and respect for them.
  20. Challenge him. Playful debates, intellectual challenges, or introducing them to new experiences can keep interactions stimulating. It’s a way to grow together, learn from each other, and see different facets of each other’s personalities.
  21. Build a sense of trust. Trust is the bedrock of any lasting relationship. Cultivating trust means being reliable, keeping promises, and being open and honest. When you say you’ll do something, follow through. Demonstrating consistency in your actions and words assures your crush that they can depend on you. Additionally, being open about your feelings and intentions can create an environment where both of you feel safe to express yourselves.
  22. Introduce him into your world. Inviting your crush into your personal space, be it your favorite coffee shop, a cherished reading nook, or even introducing them to close friends, can be a significant step. It signifies that you’re open to integrating them into different parts of your life. This inclusion offers them a glimpse into your world, making the bond more personal and intimate.
  23. Give him space. As essential as shared experiences are, it’s equally vital to recognize the importance of individual space. Everyone needs time to recharge, reflect, or pursue their interests. Respecting and understanding when they need time alone or with their friends or family can prevent feelings of being smothered. It also reinforces mutual respect and understanding in the budding relationship.
  24. Show interest in his life and the things that make him who he is. Displaying curiosity about their day-to-day activities, recalling previous conversations, or asking about their aspirations can show genuine care. It’s these little gestures, like remembering an important meeting they mentioned or checking in after a tough day, that show you’re invested in their well-being. Such attentiveness can solidify the feeling that you truly care about what’s happening in their life.
  25. Be patient. Building a deep, genuine connection takes time. While the initial stages of a crush can be filled with excitement and anticipation, it’s crucial to understand that meaningful relationships often develop at their own pace. It’s a journey of understanding, discovering, and evolving together. By being patient, you give the relationship the breathing room it needs to flourish naturally.

How to win over a long-distance crush

If you can’t see him every day or interact with him in person, it can feel much harder to get your long-distance crush to fall in love with you. While you may have to get a bit creative with your methods, it’s still possible to pull him in until you can be in the same place again.

The geographic distance can make it tough to build a connection and gauge interest. But with the right approach, you can bridge the gap, literally and figuratively. Here are some steps to consider. Many of them aren’t much different from what you’d do with someone who lived much closer!

1. Communication is key.

  • Open up the lines. Start by establishing a regular communication routine. Whether it’s texting, calling, or video chatting, choose what feels natural and maintain consistency.
  • Prioritize quality over quantity. It’s not about bombarding them with messages every day but having meaningful conversations that make you both feel connected.
  • Listen to what he has to say. When they talk, genuinely listen. It shows you care and helps you understand them better.

2. Show a genuine interest.

  • Ask the right questions. Get to know their interests, hobbies, and daily life. It shows you’re genuinely invested in getting to know them.
  • Share a bit about yourself as well to foster a deeper connection. Be open about your own life, aspirations, and stories. It’s a two-way street.

3. Send thoughtful little surprises.

  • Snail mail In an era of instant messaging, a handwritten letter or postcard can make a huge impression.
  • Care packages Tailored to their likes or needs, this gesture shows you’re thinking of them.
  • Online deliveries Order a surprise meal or gift for them online. It’s a modern way to show you care from afar. (Plus, who doesn’t live for UberEats?)

4. Plan in-person visits or meet-ups.

  • Set a date and stick to it. Having a planned visit gives you both something to look forward to.
  • Choose neutral ground. If meeting halfway is an option, it can be a fun way to explore a new place together.

5. Engage in shared activities from afar.

  • Watch stuff together online. Use platforms like Netflix Party to synchronize movie nights.
  • Have fun gaming. From trivia to multiplayer games, find something you both enjoy.
  • Maybe start a virtual book club? Read the same book and discuss it. It’s a good way to connect intellectually.

6. Build trust.

  • Be transparent all the way. If you’re feeling uncertain or insecure about something, discuss it. Honesty is fundamental.
  • Stay loyal. Trust is hard to gain and easy to lose, especially in long-distance scenarios. Stay true to your words and actions.

7. Use social media wisely.

  • Connect but don’t stalk him. It’s okay to connect on social platforms, but avoid the urge to deep dive into their profiles obsessively.
  • Share a bit of your life for him to see. Regular updates about your life can help them feel more connected to your world.

8. Consider the possible future.

  • Discuss Goals: Where do you both see this going? Is relocation a possibility for either of you in the future?
  • Be Realistic: It’s crucial to evaluate if and how your long-distance crush can fit into your long-term plans.
Sinead Cafferty is a writer who has authored four collections of poetry: "Dust Settling" (2012); "The Space Between" (2014); "Under, Under, Over" (2016); and "What You Can't Have" (2020). She's currently working on her first novel, a dystopian romance set in the 22nd Century, that's due out in 2024.

Sinead has an MFA in creative writing from NYU and has had residencies with the Vermont Studio Center and the National Center for Writing.
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