How To Shoot Your Shot With Someone You Like

You see or meet someone you really like and you’re down bad. You have tons in common, they make you laugh, they’re super smart, or you simply want to jump their bones. They don’t necessarily seem repulsed by you, but they’re also not making a move. Before you lose your mind with lust, chill. Here’s how to shoot your shot with the person you like because hey, you never know what might happen.

Wait, what does that even mean?

If you’re unfamiliar with the expression, to “shoot your shot” is basically to make your move on someone. It’s throwing caution to the wind and letting them know you’re into them and want to date them/sleep with them/make them your spouse one day. It requires a certain amount of vulnerability, particularly if person is perceived to be out of your league. (Though real talk: No one is out of your league.)

How exactly you go about this depends on your personality and the situation, not to mention the person you’re trying to bag. You don’t want to come on too strong to the point that you freak them out. However, you’re also not here to drop hints or be subtle. You’re trying to get a date/get laid. Now’s not the time to be coy.

So, how exactly do you shoot your shot and up your unspoken rizz?

How to shoot your shot with someone

  1. Figure out a plan. Don’t just go in blind here. You want to make a good impression, so flying by the seat of your pants is not the move. Think about how you’re going to accomplish the goal. Will be approach them in person? What will you say? What are you hoping to get out of it? Having a clear picture of how you want things to go down will set you up for success. As my old high school geography teacher used to say, “Prior preparation prevents pitifully poor performance.” Thanks, Mr. Cheney.
  2. Start a conversation. Duh. You can’t shoot your shot if you’re not actually speaking to the person. If this is someone you know marginally online, that will look a bit different than in person. However, keep it casual and laid-back. “Hey, what’s up?” seems corny, but not if you have something to follow it up with. Come equipped with stuff to talk about and go for it.
  3. Slide into the DMs. If you’re making a move online, you know sliding into the DMs is the way to go. If you don’t want to message them out of the blue, replying to their Instagram Story is a good way to go. It seems super natural since you’re replying to something they said. It’s a lot less embarrassing if you discover they’re clearly not feeling it.
  4. Make them smile. As humans, we want to be around other people to make our lives better. Being able to make someone smile will endear you to them. They’ll be naturally drawn to you because you make them happy. Send them a hilarious meme or tell them a corny joke. They might roll their eyes a bit, but they’ll think you’re pretty damn cute. (Newsflash: You are!)
  5. Throw a compliment or two their way. Make sure it’s a genuine compliment, of course. Also, don’t lay it on too thick or you’ll look like a weirdo or like you’re desperate, neither of which are true. Try to stroke their ego about something other than physical appearance, too. While “you’re hot!” is nice, there has to be something more you like about them.
  6. Ask them to hang out. This is where you’re really going to shoot your shot. The groundwork’s been laid and now you’re ready to take things to the next level. You don’t need to put too much pressure on it, you just wanna eat burgers together or whatever. Besides, they should be so lucky for the invitation.
  7. Be ballsy and tell them how you feel. If they’re a bit thick and don’t get the hint that you’re into them, it’s time to be blunt. Again, the ball is in your court here, so you have to make the play. It sucks to have to spell it out, but sometimes needs must. Tell them you really like them and are interested in going out on an actual date, hooking up, whatever. They’ll probably jump at the chance. And if not, they’ll at least be flattered and impressed with your ballsiness. That’s worth celebrating, don’t you think? Thought so.

What to remember

In a lot of ways, shooting your shot is about backing yourself. It means having the confidence in your value enough to be like, “You know what? Anyone would be lucky to have me.” That level of self-belief is priceless. It’s also an indicator that you know how to make the most of every moment. You can seize the day, as they say. Being able to take a chance and see what happens is what will ultimately bring you many of the best opportunities in your life. Expressing your interest in someone you like and going for it could be one of them.

It’s important to remember that while it may not always work out, it’s still worth trying. It could be that the person you have the hots for is already coupled up. Or, maybe they’re simply not interested. If that’s the case, no biggie. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. You should be proud of yourself for trying and ready to move on to someone who sees just how great you are.

Jennifer Still is a writer and editor with more than 10 years of experience. The managing editor of Bolde, she has bylines in Vanity Fair, Business Insider, The New York Times, Glamour, Bon Appetit, and many more. You can follow her on Twitter @jenniferlstill