The Ridiculous New Stages Of Relationships That Come Before Commitment

We all know that modern dating is pretty ridiculous. Not only is it painfully exhausting weeding through the endless possible romantic matches out there, but even if you find someone you finally jive with, getting to the point of full relationship commitment comes with so many extra and unnecessary steps:

  1. Hanging out. You’ve only been one about one or two dates, and while things are going well, you’re not quite sure if you’re ready to say “dating” since people might assume you’re in a full-blown relationship. Modern dating society uses the term “hang out” as a way of saying, “We’re kind of dating, but not really.”
  2. “Seeing each other.” This is what you start to say when you’ve been on a handful of dates and things seem to be going in the right direction. This means it’s an ongoing thing… at least for now.
  3. Dating. When you finally figure out that you’re definitely into the person and want to keep getting to know them and keep building on the budding relationship, you’ll finally use the term “dating” without batting an eye. This could take months, which is ridiculous, but is just how things go these days.
  4. “Are you still on Tinder?” Even if you’re safely using the word dating, the conversation about dating apps still has to be had. After all, most of the time we’re meeting these people online, and if we’re looking to possibly get serious with someone, we need to know they’re not secretly going home after dropping us off to swipe a bunch of pictures on Tinder. The talk before “The Talk” is a tough one.
  5. Deleting your dating apps. Assuming you’ve successfully made it through the previous step and agreed you only want to date each other with no other temptations involved, you properly uninstall and delete your dating apps. That’s the hope, anyway. Some people can be sneaky about this, which is why so many almost relationships actually fizzle out at this point.
  6. The actual talk. This is pretty standard and not really a new phase. The problem is, there are five stages that exist before it now, which is super annoying. Ugh.
  7. Social media picture tagging. Once you’re dating and off Tinder, you can finally start taking selfies together and tagging each other on Facebook and Instagram. Make no mistake — this is a very big step in the modern dating world. A new couple tagging each other on social media is like the older generations announcing their engagement. You’re finally off the market!
  8. Facebook official. When you change your Facebook relationship status, stuff gets real. Making your dating life public to your friends while parading your happy couple pictures together is pretty much like marriage. Facebook relationship official is the new marriage.
  9. In love. This is it — the shining moment of truth. You’ve weeded through all the BS obstacles that modern dating has created and you’ve found love. If you’ve gotten here, you deserve a medal because you just made it through the grueling steps that most don’t survive. Hurrah!