If you’ve dealt with a narcissist before, you know how challenging it can be to have experienced their gaslighting and criticism, and how they lacked empathy. Honestly, it’s abusive. Although people might be telling you it’s amazing that you’re out of the situation, and it is, you probably feel like you’ve got a truckload of feelings and emotions that you have to process. It’s so draining! To help you out, here are 10 ways to heal and move on from narcissistic abuse so you can focus on your brighter future.
1. Cut Contact With The Narcissist.
The first thing you need to do when surviving a narcissist is to cut off the person completely. You should delete them on all your socials and delete their number on your phone. If you don’t, it’s easy to fall into the trap of seeing where they are and what they’re doing, and you don’t need to remain stuck in their darkness.
2. Put A Label On It.
In order to heal from the narcissistic abuse, you first need to identify it. By putting a label on it, you can acknowledge what you feel about it. When you do this, you can start to accept that it happened to you so you can learn from it and move on. Notice what feelings come up during this process, such as anger and sadness, so you can work through them.
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4. Get A Therapist On Board.
It’s useful to contact a therapist who’ll be able to engage in talk therapy so you can process all those emotions. They’ll give you tools to help you learn more about yourself and how to prevent remaining stuck in what happened to you. Although talking to your friends and loved ones can be super-helpful, speaking to an objective, experienced healthcare professional is a good idea.
5. Release Your Emotions.
You might feel bombarded by your emotions when the narcissistic abuse is still fresh in your mind. To deal with them, find healthy ways to release them. Go running or do an exercise such as yoga that’s recommended for trauma because it increases your ability to connect with your body and release emotions. Whatever you choose to do, ensure you enjoy the activity, or it won’t be helpful.
6. Find Other Survivors.
It can help you to connect with people who’ve gone through similar situations that you have. This could be a friend of a friend who dated a narcissist or an online group on social media for survivors. Whatever it is, it’s so helpful to connect and trade experiences with people who’ve been where you are. You’ll learn so much and not feel so alone.
7. Show Yourself Some Love.
Whenever you get out of a relationship with a narcissistic person, it’s essential to give yourself the love and acceptance you didn’t get from them. This will help you to heal. Take stock of who you are and what you’ve learned about yourself, and treat yourself kindly. Engage in self-care to make yourself feel loved and comforted. You need it right now.
8. Stop Blaming Yourself.
Another reason why self-love is so crucial RN is because you might fall into the negative cycle of blaming yourself. It’ll take some time for you to realize that all the negative ways that person made you feel are not a reflection of who you are. In the meantime, you can help yourself heal by remembering that you’re not to blame for how messed up they were.
9. Snip Off Your Negative Thoughts.
You might have tons of negative thoughts going through your head, with some being self-blame and others being how you feel you’ll never find happiness again. Treat your negative thoughts like weeds. Pull them out of your mind so they can’t suffocate your positive thoughts the way weeds do that to plants. Challenge negative thoughts instead of allowing them to remain in your mind, such as by saying, “Who says I won’t find happiness? I’ll create my own happiness.”
10. Set Clear, Non-Negotiable Boundaries.
Unfortunately, you can’t always make a clean break from the narcissistic person. If they’re a relative or someone you share children with, you’ll have to find ways to deal with them without getting dragged back into their drama. So, now’s the time to set clear boundaries that won’t budge so you can prioritize your wellbeing and happiness.
11. Set A New Routine.
Without the drama of a narcissist filling your days, you’ll feel so much more peace – but you might also feel that you’re lost or you don’t know what to do with your life. It can be helpful to set a new routine for yourself so you have some structure. Make sure that you include self-care and daily habits that make you feel good so you can see how much happier you can be without the person being around and bringing you down.
