Whether you’re in a committed relationship or just enjoying the dating scene as you look for “The One,” knowing the various ways people cheat can help you protect your heart and make informed decisions. After all, you might want a committed monogamous relationship, but that doesn’t mean the people you date will be on the same page — and they might not even be honest about that. It’s also possible that their definition of infidelity might be different than yours. So, what is considered cheating in a relationship?
1. Emotional affairs
Emotional affairs are a form of infidelity that revolves around forming a deep emotional connection with someone outside of your committed relationship. It goes beyond friendship and involves sharing personal thoughts, feelings, and intimate details of your life with this person, often at the expense of your partner’s emotional intimacy. While it may not involve physical intimacy, emotional affairs can be just as damaging to a relationship because they breach trust, create emotional distance, and often serve as a precursor to physical infidelity. This is an incredibly common type of affair and one of the most hurtful to the other partner.
2. Physical/sexual affairs
Physical affairs are perhaps the most recognizable (and devastating) form of cheating within a committed relationship. They involve engaging in sexual activities with someone other than your partner. These activities can range from one-night stands to long-term affairs and often result in emotional pain, betrayal, and broken trust. Physical affairs can inflict deep wounds on a relationship, as they signify a breach of the exclusive commitment to one another. If you’ve ever been cheated on by a partner in this way, you know just how hard it can be to recover from. Recognizing physical affairs can sometimes be challenging, especially since cheaters may go to great lengths to hide their actions. Keep your eyes peeled!
3. Micro-cheating
Micro-cheating is a subtle yet serious form of infidelity that involves small, seemingly harmless actions that suggest emotional or romantic interest in someone other than your partner. Examples include flirtatious texts, secretive social media interactions, or regularly confiding in someone outside the relationship. While individually these actions may appear innocent, when viewed collectively, they can indicate a deeper emotional connection outside the relationship.
4. Financial infidelity
Financial infidelity is a form of betrayal within a relationship where one partner hides or misrepresents their financial situation or activities. It can take various forms, such as maintaining secret bank accounts, incurring serious debts without their partner’s knowledge, or making substantial financial decisions unilaterally. This breach of trust can be as damaging to a relationship as other more conventional forms of cheating because it involves deceit, dishonesty, and can have long-lasting financial consequences.
5. Cyber cheating
Cyber cheating encompasses a wide range of behaviors such as engaging in explicit online conversations or maintaining secret online relationships, and it can majorly damage relationships. It’s also incredibly common, with some statistics estimating that roughly 17% of people in relationships have done it! It undermines trust, emotional intimacy, and often leads to feelings of betrayal and insecurity. This form of infidelity, while not physical, can be emotionally devastating due to the emotional connection and secrecy involved.
6. Office romance
When one partner becomes romantically involved with a coworker, it can divert emotional and time investment away from the primary relationship, potentially leading to neglect and emotional disconnection with their partner. Moreover, office romances can introduce secrecy, workplace gossip, and complications that strain trust and communication in the relationship. No one wants to worry that their partner is getting off with Nancy from accounting in the copy room every day. (However, one study discovered that nearly 50% of people have had an office romance at one point, so this doesn’t seem all that unlikely.)
7. Neglect and emotional disconnection
Cheating isn’t always about engaging with someone else; it can also manifest as neglecting your partner’s emotional needs or disconnecting from them. This can result from busy schedules, personal stress, or a lack of effort to maintain emotional intimacy, leading to feelings of loneliness and resentment. It’s usually not intentional, but it’s still incredibly hurtful and damaging and could spell the end of the relationship if not dealt with.
8. Substance abuse cheating
Substance abuse cheating is a term used to describe a situation where one partner uses alcohol or drugs to the point that it feels like a form of cheating on the relationship. This behavior can be deeply damaging to both the individual struggling with substance abuse and their partner. Confronting substance abuse cheating requires a compassionate and supportive approach. Encouraging your partner to seek professional help and treatment for their addiction is the way to start. At the same time, it’s vital for the non-addicted partner to seek support for themselves, whether through therapy, support groups, or counseling, to navigate the challenges and emotions associated with this difficult situation. Ultimately, recovery and healing are possible, but they often require commitment, patience, and professional assistance. It’s up to you whether or not that’s something you feel equipped to handle.
9. Time cheating
Time cheating, also known as “time infidelity,” is kind of exactly what it sounds like: It’s when one partner neglects to spend quality time with their significant other and prioritizes other commitments or interests over the relationship. It’s not about a lack of time but rather a lack of effort and presence in the relationship. This form of neglect can be just as damaging as other types of cheating because it can make your partner feel undervalued, unloved, and unimportant in your life.
10. Neglecting personal growth
Neglecting self-growth within a relationship can definitely be seen as a form of cheating, even though it doesn’t involve another person in the traditional sense. When we talk about self-growth, we’re referring to personal development, pursuing your interests, and evolving as an individual within the context of a partnership. After all, just because you’re in a couple doesn’t mean the work is done. Imagine a relationship as a journey where both partners are supposed to grow together, emotionally and personally. Neglecting your own self-improvement can be akin to cheating because it stalls your progress and commitment to the relationship’s growth. It’s like you’re opting out of the shared adventure you embarked on with your partner.
11. Object affairs
An “object affair” refers to when one partner becomes excessively attached or emotionally invested in something outside of their relationship that often becomes a detriment to it. While it might sound unusual, it can happen when someone uses material possessions, such as a car, a hobby, or even a smartphone, as a way to escape from or replace emotional intimacy with their partner. It’s like having a secret love affair with an inanimate object instead of nurturing the connection with their partner.
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