Are you struggling to attract guys? Do you rarely get invited for second dates? It might be because you’re an intimidating woman. But before you start whipping up a new personality, you should know that being intimidating is a strength, not a flaw. Here are some traits of an intimidating woman that should be flaunted, not fixed.
What traits make a woman “intimidating”?
- She’s driven. Many women are called intimidating because of their career success and go-getter attitudes. But this is exactly what makes an intimidating woman so powerful. According to Inc., being intimidating is a professional asset that can propel your career forward, not hold it back. While bulletproof motivation may make others insecure, it’s exactly what’s required to get ahead both in and outside of the workplace.
- She’s successful. This doesn’t necessarily mean she’s running a Fortune 500 company. Success is measured differently for everyone. Whatever she puts her mind to, however, she crushes it. She knows the sky is the limit when it comes to achievements, and she holds herself to it. Successful women in business are intimidating as hell to a lot of people, but that’s not her problem.
- She’s good at weeding out people who aren’t on her level. An intimidating woman doesn’t mess around with guys (and people in general) who aren’t worth her time. She knows that those who are scared of her career goals or turned off by her strong personality aren’t right for her. Usually, men who are intimidated by women are only struggling with their own insecurity, rather than there being anything “wrong” with the women who intimidated them. And for those women, they know the right people will support their “intimidating” traits, not try to knock them down.
- She’s a self-pleaser, not a people-pleaser. A woman who is considered to be intimidating typically doesn’t care about being polite. She doesn’t act in ways just to win others’ approval. Instead, she knows her own internal validation is always most important. She’s not afraid to set boundaries and honor her own needs, even if it makes others uncomfortable.
- She’s outspoken and assertive. This is perhaps one of the most important traits of an intimidating woman. These types of women aren’t typically the quiet type, though they do choose their words carefully. They’re opinionated, honest, and ready to stand up for what they believe in. An intimidating woman doesn’t mince her words, and she’s a pro at clear communication.
- She has high standards. An intimidating woman knows what she wants, and she won’t settle for less. And often, when others don’t live up to those standards, they attack her for being too difficult or picky. This is part of what makes her “intimidating” to some, especially when she doesn’t back down and lower her standards. But she knows she’s worthy of what she wants, and she’s willing to work to achieve it.
- She plays by her own rules. Being an intimidating woman means living life on your own terms, even if it calls for going against the norms set by others. Intimidating women follow their own paths, standing out from the crowd and often becoming even more successful in life as a result.
- She’s independent. There’s a common narrative in society that every woman needs a partner to be fulfilled and that being a single woman is shameful. Intimidating women are living proof against this notion. An intimidating woman is happy and secure on her own, and she wears her independence as a badge of honor.
- She’s a natural leader. When people see a woman as being intimidating, that often means they look up to her. And in this way, intimidating women make perfect leaders. The same traits that make a woman intimidating translate well into leadership roles that require being driven, focused, and assertive. Hardly anyone makes a better leader than an intimidating woman.
- She’s resilient. Let’s be honest: a lot of intimidating women weren’t born that way. They developed their toughness through hard times and personal struggles. They have some painful experiences under their belts that make them seem so intimidating today. But that’s just a sign of how resilient they are. An intimidating woman is known for her ability to persevere even in the face of difficult challenges. She doesn’t complain about minor inconveniences, knowing that she’s strong enough to handle them. And the people who are most intimidated by her may feel that way only because they believe that they could never be as resilient as she is. Of all the traits of an intimidating woman, this is one of the most important.
- She’s smart. An intimidating woman is whip-smart, in more ways than one. People around her notice her intelligence when it comes to topics she’s deeply passionate about, but she’s also known for her street smarts too. Because most intimidating women aren’t afraid to bust out of their own comfort zones, they’ve learned plenty of life lessons from firsthand experiences and making a few mistakes along the way. As a result, they’re quick to learn new skills and make smart decisions, no matter what life throws their way.
- She’s the friend/sister/girlfriend we all need. Intimidating women may not be known for their warm people skills, but even if their strength may put some off, it’s something we could all benefit from being exposed to. There’s a lot to learn from having an intimidating woman as a friend, sister, or partner. She can inspire us to be more authentic, confident, and bold, even if it goes against others’ wishes. And she’ll always be honest with us, speaking up about what she needs and setting necessary boundaries. If you’re already an “intimidating” woman, embrace it! You have a lot to offer the world just by being your real, intimidating self.
- She wears whatever she wants. The fashion of the moment doesn’t appeal to her. An intimidating woman is confident. She’s one who wears whatever she wants, whenever she wants, regardless of how “en vogue” it happens to be. She’s taken the time to develop her own personal style and is completely confident wearing the things that make her feel good about herself.
- She’s entirely self-sufficient and can look after herself. Not only does she work hard to pay her own bills and put a roof over her own head, but she also knows how to protect herself. Whether she’s taken a self-defense course or she’s a black belt in karate, an intimidating woman has made it a priority to be able to take care of herself.
- She’s confident AF. She doesn’t need anyone to validate her or make her feel good enough. She already knows she is. Nothing can tear her down or make her doubt herself. She knows her worth and what she brings to the table, and some people can’t handle that level of self-assurance.
- She knows what she wants and how to get it. She’s always been clear about what she wants in life and she has no qualms about putting herself out there and going the extra mile to make sure she gets it. She doesn’t back off at the first sign of adversity and will keep pushing until she reaches her ultimate goal.
- She can smell BS from a mile away and won’t put up with it. One of the most defining traits of an intimidating woman is that she can spot liars, cheaters, and other no-good people from miles away. She doesn’t suffer fools gladly and she has no problems calling people out when they’re
- She’s unapologetically herself. Why wouldn’t she be? She’s incredible and anyone would be lucky to know her.
Why you should be proud to be intimidating
- You’re confident. Do you know how hard it is for most people to believe in and love themselves? It’s a lifelong struggle for many, and that crippling self-doubt can hold many people back from living life to the fullest. You don’t have that problem. You’re fortunate enough to feel certain about who you are and how amazing you are. If that makes you an intimidating woman, so be it.
- You don’t take sh*t from anyone. No one wants to be a doormat, but so many find it difficult to put their foot down and stand up for themselves. Not you. Because you know your worth, you don’t let anyone undermine it. You don’t get played for a fool or let anyone take you for granted. And you certainly don’t ignore obvious red flags because you’re desperate not to be alone. If someone doesn’t treat you right, they’re gone from your life.
- You command respect. You make sure to give it back, too. You back yourself 100% and know how you deserve to be treated. Respect needs to be earned, and as an “intimidating” woman, you’ve done just that. People look up to you in many ways, even if they won’t admit it.
- You’re not afraid to do things differently. You march to the beat of your own drum rather than adhering to the status quo. Everyone seems so eager to fall into line and not to stand out, but not you. You do what you want, regardless of whether or not it’s “cool” or what everyone else is doing. That takes serious balls. You don’t follow the trends, you set them.
- You’re a total badass. It really is that simple. Let people call you whatever you want. The bottom line is that you’re a f**king boss. Own it.