15 Signs You Are Intimidating As Hell To Guys — Oh Well!

As much as we all want to think that guys can handle their own around us, the truth is that a lot of men are intimidated by beautiful, intelligent, and ambitious women — it happens a lot more than you think. Here are some signs that you are intimidating to guys and they just can’t handle how badass you are.

  1. Guys tend to look at you but won’t approach you. This is a good sign that you’re either dressed strangely or really hot to the point of being untouchable. Simply put, guys do believe that certain women are out of their league, and you automatically fit in this category. Why is that? You intimidate him simply by being your amazing self.
  2. They constantly try to tear you down. It’s called “negging,” and it’s the way a guy drags a girl down to his level. Don’t fall for it. This is one of the biggest signs you are intimidating to guys because the only way they can bring you down to their level is to literally try and bring you down. This is all about their insecurity and has nothing to do with you.
  3. You’re considered the “hot” friend in the group and you’re still single. You’re single because of the fact that everyone’s too petrified to actually talk to you. You’re an amazing woman and have so much to offer the world, but finding a guy who’s up to the task is easier said than done.
  4. You have your act together but don’t get too many offers. Guys usually will gravitate to hot messes when it comes to quickies. They want to feel like they have the upper hand. This leads to fewer offers for good women, but the offers tend to be of higher quality.
  5. The guy in question stammers, blushes, or seems abnormally tense around you. These are classic signs of a poor guy being flustered in front of a woman. If you see him doing this, he’s probably too intimidated to ask you out. It’s a shame really because he seems pretty nice. Sadly, if he’s too chicken to speak up for himself, he’s probably not on your level.
  6. You’ve overheard him asking why a girl like you would go out with him. If you hear him saying something along these lines, it’s clear that he thinks you’re way out of his league. You may want to be gentle with him. If he’s doing this, he really likes you and already is way insecure.
  7. You catch guys looking at you, then quickly looking away when you notice them. This is a sign that they’re trying to be really subtle about looking at you because they’re embarrassed about their chances. It’s somewhat adorable but can venture into creepy territory when it happens too often or when they won’t stop doing it.
  8. People have told you that you’re intimidating to men. If this isn’t one of the most obvious signs that you are intimidating to guys, I don’t know what is. Generally speaking, if men tell you this, you should listen to them. It’s not always a cop-out, and if you hear this on a regular basis, you’re probably a very intimidating chick.
  9. He flew off the handle when he heard how many partners you slept with. Not that this is acceptable or even reasonable in any manner, but if a guy flips out about your number, he’s intimidated by your sexual experience. This isn’t a bad reflection on you, though. It only shows how inexperienced and insecure he is around you.
  10. Guys tend to flash cash or otherwise act nuts around you. When guys do this, they like you a lot and are seeking validation. Most men who do this are intimidated by girls, and choose to rely on material goods to get a chance because they don’t think their personality is attractive enough.
  11. You can’t help but notice how many silly stunts guys pull in your presence. So many men, so many hospital bills. Amirite? If you find guys are always trying to show off by doing risky, adventurous things in front of you, they’re obviously trying to impress you and think that’s the way to do it. Poor, misguided souls.
  12. You get the feeling that the guy you’re eyeing wants to say something but can’t bring himself to do so. Usually, your intuition is right. Guys tend to be very obvious about this stuff too. He’s super chatty when he’s with his bros and doesn’t seem to be overly shy, but that all changes when you’re around.
  13. You have a reputation for emasculating men or a tendency of cutting people down. If this is what you’re known for, you shouldn’t be surprised that some guys might be scared to approach you. After all, no one wants to get a sudden ego blow, right? Hopefully, this is a misconception rooted in misogyny than something that’s true. Regardless of how amazing you are, you should always treat people with kindness and respect.
  14. You’re known for being an ice queen. This is one of the biggest signs you are intimidating to guys. Even if you really aren’t an ice queen, guys tend to avoid women who look cold or angry because they feel like they’ll be immediately shot down. You can’t help if you have RBF, but it doesn’t help with another sex.
  15. You’re a badass bitch and you know it. When you’re more of a badass than any man you know, it’s bound to happen. You don’t take any crap, you know what you have to offer the world, and you’re never going to pretend to be self-deprecating or less than to assuage some guy’s ego. Sorry, dude.

What to do when you notice signs guys find you intimidating

smiling woman's portait against wall©iStock/RoBeDeDro

  1. Check yourself. While it’s likely that the problem lies in the fact that certain men just can’t handle strong women, there’s no bad time to have a word with yourself and get real about your behavior and what you’re putting out in the world. Is it possible you are being at all haughty, unapproachable, unkind? If you’re sure that’s not the case, don’t think any further on it. If, however, you do realize you could stand to be a bit more laid-back, that needs to be addressed.
  2. Consider if there’s anything you could be doing differently. Say you do admit to yourself that you are kind of unnecessarily hard-faced with men and you’d like to change that. Think about what’s behind that impulse and how you might be able to alter your behavior to appear a bit less scary to guys, if that’s what you’d like to happen.
  3. Ask yourself: what kinds of guys are intimidated by you? By thinking about this, you may realize that the only guys who are intimidated by you are the ones you wouldn’t want to be involved with anyway. They could be misogynists or simply men who can’t handle a partner who’s on their level because it makes them feel less manly or important. You don’t have time to try and fix someone’s outdated ideals and prejudices, nor should you.
  4. Keep doing you. At the end of the day, if you know that you treat everyone the way you want to be treated and you always try to do your best to be a good person, you have nothing to apologize for and no need to change who you are to suit anyone else. Keep doing you. The fact that you know your worth and command respect isn’t anything to be ashamed of or something to back down from. Your authentic self is all you need to be. If that makes men intimidated by you, that’s their loss.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.