8 Signs You’re The One Putting In All The Effort In Your Relationship

For a relationship to work, both parties need to make an effort. It’s a partnership after all and with few exceptions, it should be 50/50. You know you’re putting in an effort, but is your boyfriend? Is he pulling his own weight or is all the work left up to you? If you relate to any of the following, things are more than a little unbalanced.

You’re the only one making sacrifices.

You shouldn’t have to give everything up for love, but every now and then, you both have to make sacrifices for your partner and your relationship as a whole. Your boyfriend isn’t holding up his end of the deal — this relationship has become all about him and nothing about you. While he won’t even give up one night with the boys for you, you offer him everything on a silver platter. WTF?

You only hang out when it’s convenient for him.

He expects you to drop everything when he’s available but not to bother him when he’s busy. You make time for him, but even when he’s free, it’s anyone’s guess as to whether or not he’ll be bothered to ask you to do anything. He’s your boyfriend only when it’s convenient for him. Do you really want your relationship like that? Is it even a relationship at all?

You plan every date.

Whether it’s Valentine’s Day, your anniversary or even your birthday, unless you make all the plans, the night will be anything but special. He doesn’t make an effort to surprise or even romance you because he doesn’t think he has to. He’s learned that you’ll take the bare minimum, and now that he knows, that’s all you’ll ever get.

He never asks about you.

He never wants to know how you’re doing or if you’re happy in the relationship because he doesn’t want it to result in him having to make a bigger effort on his part. At the end of the day, he only cares about himself, and a selfish man will never make the effort you need.

He doesn’t communicate with you.

He doesn’t tell you about his plans, so you never know where he is or what he’s doing. It’s not that you’re trying to keep tabs on him, it’s that he doesn’t even tell you when he’s canceling — he just doesn’t bother to show up. If he grows bored of the relationship or sick of your nagging, he never tells you, because he doesn’t care enough to try.

Nothing ever changes.

When something in your relationship needs to be addressed, you have to push him or nothing will ever change. Even when he says he’ll “try,” it’s always half-assed. He doesn’t want to have to work to make your relationship better. He doesn’t care to grow, which means he probably doesn’t care all that much about you.

He has no interest in taking the next step.

Where you are is exactly where he wants to be. Not because he’s necessarily happy, but because he knows moving forward takes work, and that’s a burden he has no interest to take on. The boy is lazy, and if he really loved you, he’d have the motivation to at least try.

You feel like a nuisance in his life.

You’re doing all the work, but that doesn’t mean he’s grateful. Face it: you’re unhappy, and every time you try to improve or salvage the relationship, you just feel like you’re pushing him further away. You shouldn’t have to ask a guy to make an effort. You shouldn’t have to ask a guy to try or to care. If it doesn’t come naturally, you need to walk away.

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