How To Get Wet When It’s Feeling Like The Sahara Down There

You’re making out with a hot guy and things are getting pretty intense. His hands are venturing lower and you’re pretty sure it’s time for some P-in-V action. There’s just one problem: your vagina is dry as hell and doesn’t want to play ball. WTF? Before you freak out and think your night of passionate sex is done before it starts, take a deep breath. Here’s how to get wet so you can get it on.

Why is it so hard to get wet sometimes?

There’s no one right answer to this question, unfortunately. That’s because it’s down to your own personal (and vaginal) health and circumstances. For instance, maybe you’re not getting physically aroused because you’re distracted or you’re not in the mood for sex. Or, it could be that you’re dealing with health problems or taking medications that make it hard to produce vaginal lubrication. There’s also the possibility that things have been tense in your relationship lately. If you’ve been fighting a lot or still have unresolved issues, it might be hard to get in the right frame of mind.

You might be thinking, “I’m in the mood, so why am I not wet?” The truth is, even if you’re raring to go, it may not be so simple. Lower estrogen levels that happen at certain times of the month may cause you to experience more vaginal dryness. (Damn you, hormones!) Birth control can also make it tough to get wet, as can smoking. On the other hand, it could also come down to self-perception. When you’re not feeling confident in your own skin or are preoccupied with being self-conscious about your appearance, it’s hard to make the most of a sexual experience.

How can I avoid upsetting my partner if I can’t produce natural lubrication?

This is something a lot of women worry about. After all, you love your partner and are extremely attracted to them. In theory, you should be a Slip ‘n’ Slide down there. And when you’re not, your partner might worry that you’re not into them or that they’re doing something wrong even though that’s likely not the case.

In this case, the best thing you can do is to communicate openly. Reassure them that you love them (or at least love having sex with them) and that your inability to get wet — or as wet as you’d like to be — isn’t about them. Hopefully, they’ll be understanding. A supportive partner will even question if there’s something they might be able to do to help.

How to get wet when it feels like a struggle

It goes without saying that you should never feel pressured or forced into sex with anyone when you aren’t into it 100%. Assuming your mind and the rest of your body are on board, you may just need a little extra help to get wet. Here are some things to try.

  1. Amp up the foreplay. It goes without saying that jumping straight from a kiss to a guy trying to stick it in isn’t going to go well. Unlike men, women’s sexuality is a bit more nuanced. Spend more time teasing, touching, kissing, licking, etc. That may be all you need to get turned on.
  2. Hit up the lube. There’s no shame in grabbing a bottle of Astroglide from your local Rite Aid and making it work. (And if you’re allergic to store-bought lubes, there are some great lube alternatives you can try, as well.) It’s literally what the product is made for and it’ll get you where you need to go.
  3. Give your other erogenous zones some attention. There are other places besides your vag on which your partner should be lavishing attention. From the crook of your neck to the back of your knees, have him focus elsewhere for a while.
  4. Try a bit of dry humping. It sounds silly, but it can actually be really rewarding. Creating friction as you rub up against each other can feel amazing and really get you wet in ways you wouldn’t expect. Plus, there’s the added bonus of feeling like a teenager trying not to get caught with her first boyfriend again.
  5. Drink more water. It’s true, your body being dehydrated can lead to your vagina feeling dry too. If ever you needed another reason to get your eight glasses a day, this should be one of them. Make sure you’re properly hydrated and your whole body will thank you, including your lady bits.
  6. Use toys for extra stimulation. No shame in getting your vibrator involved in the bedroom. Hold it against your clit while he goes to town on your mouth and just wait for all that wetness to flood in.
  7. Do something that turns you on. This could be reading erotica, wearing lingerie, or any number of other things. Whatever makes you feel sexy and makes you feel DTF, do that.
  8. Don’t be afraid to put on some porn. Obviously, most porn online is geared towards men, but there are some great porn sites for women out there that create content more likely to turn us on. Give it a whirl – it’s worth a try.
  9. Do what you can to reduce your stress levels. When you’re feeling anxious and uptight, you’re not going to be in the mood for sex. Your body won’t respond like you want it to and you won’t be able to enjoy the experience. Go for a run, do some meditation, and take time for self-care to reduce your stress levels.
  10. Make sure your diet is on point. You are what you eat, as they say. It’s amazing how much of a role your diet can play in your overall physical health, and that includes your vaginal health. Dark leafy greens, apples, sweet potatoes, and Omega-3 fatty acid-rich foods can all help with lubrication, so add them to your diet!
  11. Get your hormones checked (and balanced, if necessary). If you haven’t already, check in with your doctor. They can test your hormones and make sure everything is balanced. If it’s not, they can help you get there.
  12. Indulge in some of your fantasies. Maybe it’s the same old, same old that’s getting you (and your vagina) down. In order to get wet, revamping your sex life may be in order. Try roleplaying or BDSM or some other kink you’ve always been curious about. It might just be the key to a happier vagina.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia