You just started seeing someone new you really like. You even had a few cheeky make-out sessions. So, it’s natural to wonder about the next step. Perhaps you’re hoping he’ll be good in bed because everything has been perfect so far. Will he live up to your expectations? Here’s what makes a guy good in bed and some signs that he won’t disappoint.
What makes a guy good in bed?
While everyone has different kinks and tastes, sexually speaking. What makes you feel good might differ from the next person. However, there are a few main things pretty much everyone can agree on. A guy doesn’t necessarily need to give you earth-shattering orgasms to be good in bed. He does need to listen, ask for consent, show respect, and put in effort. Beyond that, it’s the little things that matter.
- He’s extremely attentive to your needs. If he’s a very attentive person, this is likely to translate to other areas of your relationship. By attentive, I mean that he listens to you when you talk. He takes care of you by pulling out your chair at a restaurant. He notices when you’re cold when you’re both out walking and he gives you his jacket. It’s the little things, but trust me when I say that they’re about to amount to a big thing.
- He tries to make you feel comfortable during conversation. Speaking of listening, he doesn’t just sit there when you talk. He also responds in a way that makes you feel like he really cares about you and your needs. Does he empathize when you tell him sad stories from your past? Does he laugh at your (not-so-funny) jokes? Does he actively try to make you feel good at every opportunity? If he tries so hard to make you feel this good during conversation, can you imagine how hard he’ll try to make you feel good in the bedroom?
- He makes the conversation about you. Even when he’s talking or telling a story about his past, he sometimes tries to shift the focus back to you. Or, he keeps you involved by asking you questions about what he’s just said. Why? Well, maybe he’s just totally obsessed with you. When you’re obsessed with someone, you do anything you can to please them. True story.
- He’s a good communicator. If he’s great at communicating both when you’re together and when you’re apart, he’s going to be great in bed. After all, good sex isn’t just about the moves. It’s about being able to communicate what you like (and what you don’t like quite as much). Openness and honesty are key!
- He makes intense eye contact with you. When you look back on the guys you’ve dated, it’s the ones that seem like they’re trying to burn a hole in your soul that are the best lovers. If a guy couldn’t look you in the eye or looked away a lot during conversation, they were unsure and awkward in bed. Therefore, if your guy looks at you in a way that makes you feel all of the butterflies, this is a good sign.
- He’s very tactile. By this, we don’t mean that he’s constantly feeling you up and making you feel like he’s hornier than a pubescent boy. I mean that he knows when and where to show you affection. If he doesn’t give too much away but doesn’t hold back either, this is a surefire sign that he’ll be a class-A lover.
- He has a quiet confidence. Similarly, if he’s not one of these guys that makes crude sexual innuendos in (what feels like) every conversation, this bodes well. In our experience, these types of guys talk so much because they’re trying to overcompensate for what they have to offer. On the other hand, if the guy you’re dating has a quiet confidence that comes across as mysterious but intriguing, you should feel incredibly excited about what’s to come.
- He doesn’t rush you into sex. He lets the tension build up naturally and waits for the right opportunity to make his move. Why? Well, because he’s that confident in his abilities. He knows the next step will be great and he’ll perform great once you get around to it.
- He’s an amazing kisser. Lastly, one of the biggest signs that he’ll be good in bed is if he’s a 10 out of 10 in the make-out department. After all, if he can kiss you in a way that makes you go weak at the knees, imagine what he can do to you in the bedroom. Kissing is also a good indicator of how much experience he has. And the more experience he has, the better he is at kissing — and doing the dirty.
- He’s confident, not cocky. A man who’s good in bed doesn’t have to do anything to overcompensate because he knows he’s already got it goin’ on. Cocky guys act as such because they want to prove something in order to get a woman into bed. Guys who already know they’re good in bed won’t have to try so hard in their advances. If he carries himself confidently but with a bit of humility – in how he walks, talks, and holds himself – but doesn’t overdo the arrogance, he’s probably pretty good in the sack.
- He pays attention. We all know a guy who sucked in bed just because he couldn’t care less about your experience. He didn’t even know what you wanted. He didn’t care if you were enjoying yourself or if you even got off! A guy who’s attentive during sex is a guy who’s attentive in his every day too. He’s observant of his surroundings and most importantly, of you. He asks you questions about yourself and is genuinely interested in your answers. He notices physical aspects of you and showers you with compliments. If he’s an attentive guy, you can make a good bet on him.
- He’s assertive and not afraid to go after what he wants. Don’t get this twisted with someone who’s pushy or too over the top. You’ll want to look for guys who can be assertive and aggressive not in their advances, but in their actions outside of their flirtations. Men like that will be able to take charge and rock your world when you get to the bedroom, especially if you’re more submissive in bed. I was once with a guy who was quick to push my hand away and light my cigarette for me, and he ended up being a great lay. Guys who are good in bed know what they want.
- He displays great body language. Guys who know what to do with their bodies (and yours) in bed will know what body language to use outside of the bedroom too. Look for good eye contact, good posture, eyebrow flashes, tousling his hair, and body positioned toward you to hold your attention and show you’re holding his. If a guy’s body language is attractive to you, you’ll probably like what that body can do behind closed doors too.
- He’s a good dancer. Again, guys who know what to do with their bodies in bed will know what to do with their bodies in any setting. This definitely translates to the dance floor, as weird as that sounds. Dancing together can also give you clues as to how your bodies jive with one another in general. You can learn how sensual he can get. Plus, you could just get an idea of what he’s packing down there if you’re dancing close enough).
- He’s non-judgmental. Weird things happen during sex sometimes. Odd noises, water breaks, not being able to bend that way – these are all things that he should be familiar with and not feel awkward about. Especially if you’re down for experimentation, this guy has to know not to judge any weird happenings during sex. If he’s used to these kinds of things, he should be pretty open and non-judgmental in any wake of life. It’s definitely a good sign if your guy seems ultra-accepting.
- He uses his hands in a way that makes you think he’s, uh, good at using them. Pay attention to his hands. Notice how he moves them when he talks, how he holds the steering wheel, or how he touches you generally. See how his touch makes you feel when he’s doing things like holding your hand, putting his hand on your leg or back, or massaging your shoulders. A guy who knows how to touch you during sex will know how to make you feel good with his hands in other ways.
- He’s considerate of what you want and how you feel. He needs to know what your desires are and what’s making you feel good. If he cares about these things while you’re out on a date, he’ll care when you head to the bedroom later. While you’re out, he’ll care if you’re having fun, if you’re feeling alright, and what it is you want to do. Later, he’ll be able to please you in the exact same fashion.
- He makes you feel comfortable. This one is key, as you need someone who makes you feel comfortable and really cares that you are. If you feel comfortable around him, rest assured he will make you feel comfortable while you’re doing the deed as well. The worst is a man who pushes boundaries, but this kind of man will make sure not to.