Everyone wants to be respected, but you have to earn it — it’s not a given. People who are held in high regard by everyone they know have cultivated a persona that demands that kind of reverence. If you’re guilty of any of these behaviors, chances are you’re making it very hard for people to respect you.
1. You don’t listen enough.
Anyone can hear what other people say, but you should be actively listening to people instead of making conversations seem uninteresting and one-sided. Engage with people, ask them questions, and show interest in what they have to say to ensure they feel not just heard but understood.
2. You send mixed messages.
People will find it hard to respect you if you’re not consistent with them. If you’re happy to be around them one minute and giving them the cold shoulder the next, that’s a problem. Being emotionally unpredictable makes people question whether or not you really know who you are — and whether that’s someone they want to be around.
3. You barge straight past people’s boundaries.
You can’t be respected if you don’t pay attention to and acknowledge where other people draw a line. Stepping into people’s personal space when it makes them uncomfortable or trying to force them to talk to you when they don’t want to are examples of boundary violations. You’re not showing respect, so how can you get it in return?
4. You talk over people.
When people are trying to share an opinion or idea, constantly interrupting them because you’re too impatient to wait for them to express themselves is so annoying. It’s a huge sign of disrespect and tells people that you don’t care about their input. As a result, they’ll end up feeling disregarded and unappreciated, which won’t exactly foster positive feelings about you.
5. You display negative body language.
While your words might be uplifting and positive, your body language could be sending a completely different message. If you’re avoiding eye contact, clenching your firsts, or slouching a lot, you’re giving off vibes of being disinterested, insecure, or even hostile.
6. You take credit for other people’s work or ideas.
When your friend makes a funny joke that you end up using and claiming as your own to get laughs, that’s so rude. Ditto for pretending you came up with ideas at work or did most of the group project even though you didn’t. You can’t go through life treating people badly and expecting them to admire or respect you. It’s never going to happen.
7. You don’t take responsibility for your actions.
If you’re quick to shift the blame onto other people for what you’ve done wrong, they’re going to see you as manipulative. Playing the victim card only takes you so far before people stop buying your sob stories and immaturity. People respect others who know how to ‘fess up when they’ve made a mistake and learn from their mistakes.
8. You get really upset about feedback.
You can’t ask people for their honest opinions or advice and then get angry with them when they give it. No wonder they’re trying to avoid you! Being open to constructive criticism is a sign of wanting to grow and having the maturity to deal with different opinions. Rejecting feedback just tells people you think you’re perfect, and narcissistic traits like this never demand respect.
9. You’re addicted to apologizing.
You have to show yourself respect before you expect to receive it from other people. If you’re always apologizing for things you haven’t even done or taking the blame for things you haven’t done, you might be trying to avoid conflict, but it’s making you seem insecure and lacking self-esteem.
10. You’re trying way too hard.
You try so hard to help other people, but you have a secret motive: you want people to like you. The sad truth about this is that people can see right through it, and it makes them assume you’re either desperate for external validation or that you have an ulterior motive. Neither option demands respect.
11. You’re a doormat.
If you always prioritize everyone else’s needs and desires above your own, you’ll soon find people walking all over you. They recognize that you don’t care about yourself, so why should they? People will follow the rules you set for how you should be treated. Remember that.
12. You don’t respect people’s time.
Time is the most precious resource we have, and no one wants to waste it. If you’re always turning up late to meetings, dates, and social gatherings, you’re telling people that you don’t care about their time and you’re behaving in an entitled way that makes people dislike you. Why should they respect you when you don’t offer the same in return?
13. You’re extremely careless.
You’re always messing things up because you’re clumsy or careless even though you don’t mean to be. Maybe you break other people’s stuff or forget to pay them back for the money they gave you and you expect them to just go along with it. Being aware of your surroundings, the people in it, and how you interact with them is non-negotiable if you want to be respected.
14. You’re inappropriately loud.
Sure, it’s fun to be loud when you’re at a club or party. It’s a different thing altogether when you’re at work or meeting your partner’s parents. In those instances, you can come across as rude and annoying. People won’t want to spend time with you, and they certainly won’t respect you since it’s clear you lack self-awareness.
15. You rely on your charm.
People are drawn to charismatic people, but you can’t expect your charm to get you what you want or bail you out of stressful situations every single time. People will know what you’re trying to do — charm is usually connected to ulterior motives — and will ultimately turn against you.
16. You’re all about the humble-brag.
You tend to fake humility by subtly bragging about your achievements. So, you might say, “My new car is so annoying to drive!” or “Traveling the world is exhausting!” to get other people’s sympathy for your success. It doesn’t make others feel for you — instead, it makes them think you’re full of yourself. No one will respect you for that.
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